- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
I’m having kind of a crap week so I need some amusement today. Amusement in the form of stories about times you legitimately laughed so hard you peed a little bit.
I realize that most of the time, stories like this are kind of ‘you had to be there’ … but hey, it’s better than nothing!
I have several (this happens to me a lot), but I’ll start with my favorite: The Pinata Incident.
Several years ago, I was dating a guy a few years older than me and it was his 30th birthday. We had various activities planned for the weekend, but on his actual birthday, we just had some cake and a pinata filled with candy. This guy lived with my sister and her boyfriend at the time in a condo, and my sister (who used to be kind of a bitch) worked every day at 5am so she went to bed super early.
So, sister is in bed already and we decide it’s time to get out the pinata. It’s just me, my boyfriend, and my sister’s boyfriend.
We quickly realize we have no way of hanging the pinata, though we do have a nice baseball bat with which to beat it. We try to jury-rig a few ways of hanging it, but nothing is working at all. So we decide that the best solution is for sister’s bf to pitch the pinata at my bf, who will then hit it out of the air with the baseball bat. We would forgo the blindfold.
I don’t know why we thought this was a good idea.
So sister’s bf gently pitches the pinata through the air.
My bf swings the bat.
The bat hitting the full pinata makes the LOUDEST THUNK noise I have ever heard in my life. It was like he had smashed the bat into the side of a car or something.
The pinata flies directly at my sister’s bf and hits him right in the middle of the chest with such force that he falls over.
Candy flies out of the pinata and all over the entire living room, into the kitchen, down the hallway and against the door of the bedroom where my sister is currently sleeping (or was, right up until there was a car wreck in her living room).
I f***ing died. I died. I had to run to the bathroom because I was actively peeing in my pants. My sister’s bf was still lying on the ground. My bf laughed so hard he almost threw up.
And dudes … my sister? Was pissed. She didn’t think any part of it was funny.
Moral of the story: Don’t play pinata baseball indoors with large men while others are trying to sleep. Just don’t do it.