Post # 1
Okay I’m usually the 1st one to say that people expect too much from their BMs but I hd a crazy request from my BM that nearly made me go crazy!
Our limo is scheduled to pick us up at 3pm. we will be at a hotel, I am ofcourse paying for the hotel as well as their meals from the night before, and then the wedding day breakfast, and light lunch. My 18 yr old BM told me she wants to go to her friends graduation party right before the limo arrives. So i asked her how will you get to the party and she responds by saying well the party is kinda close to the hotel so she will get a ride there?! So I ask how will get back to the hotel and she isnt sure and is expecting us to I guess all go by her friends party on the way to the wedding while I’m on the clock with the limo driver?! this is the most bizarre request ever! I just looked at her and said hey the limo arrives at 3pm, we will be leaving at 3pm. If you arent there by 3pm you wont be going with us. we arent picking u up from your party or dropping you off. SHe is somehow offended by this. and was making comments about me expecting her to skip her friends party but I just ignored her.
Anyway have any of your BMs made any strange requests?
Post # 3
Wow I haven’t had any strang requests but I am learning the same thing you are- young BM’s = selfishness and misunderstanding of a BM role!!!
I have two younger BM’s (17 and 20, my MOH) and I think the 20 yr old gets it but I have sent emails so many times needing answers from the group about things and she NEVER responds. I am in another wedding, my bff’s and one of her BM’s is young and caused a TON of issues because things weren’t what SHE wanted and she didn’t like it.
I just don’t think they understand that they are supposed to be honored to be part of this, not have us feel like they are doing us a favor. Hang in there, just realize that she is young (although I know we prob wouldn’t have acted like that at that age!) and just doesn’t get it. My best advice is to have another BM deal with her, even if she doesnt know her- kinda the one to take the crap for you. Ask another one to privately message her on fb or something and just say look, we are really lucky to be part of this, I don’t want to make (your name) anxious by you not being there, I think you should politely get out of the grad commitment…. just to deflect this away from you- it’s the last thing you need!
Sorry for the novel, I get heated about this stuff lol
Post # 4
Yeah, I think this one just has to be chalked up to the fact that she is 18, and when your 18 its all about you, esp around graduation!
She prob won’t see why this is rude until she is at least 20 🙂
Post # 5
Yeah I figured as much, right now graduation seems to be the biggest thing in their lives.. it still suprises me though that we could delay the start of the wedding to stop by her friends grad party
Post # 6
BM1 requested a specific type of dress when my first choice fell through. No problem. Then shoots down all of the readily available options for BMs 2 and 3.
BM3 says 8 weeks prior, she hasn’t budgeted for it, so can I buy it? OK. So I find several suitable ones. She says they don’t come in her size. Won’t tell me her size. I happen to find a dress that fits sizes M-XXXL.
BM2 asks what type of dress. I tell her, and say I can order it if needed (knowing she already had a trip to England planned between the time I asked her and the wedding.) She says “great, I’ll run it by you when I select one.” It’s 9 days til the wedding. She still doesn’t have a dress. There is nothing in the style we need available within a week. My mom and I have to make one for her.
Sorry about your BM…