- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2009
So my FI and I live in the town where we both grew up, and both have lots of friends around here–my FI especially, as lots of my old friends have moved, etc, but almost none of his have. They have this huge extended group who are all vaguely acquainted, then he has a smaller, closer circle.
The problem for our wedding (in August) is that everyone in their friend group tends to assume they are invited to weddings even if they aren’t. I’ve seen this happen at multiple weddings of his friends before, and I was worried about it happening at ours–this is one reason why we are having the wedding three hours away!! Seriously.
Seriously, these people treat weddings like a keg party down the street. They find out about it anytime from months to hours before, and just show up. The ones who are invited often bring uninvited guests too (I put my foot down when on the way to a wedding last summer, the guys we were in the car with said "We met these girls at the bar last night and told them they could come to the wedding, so we have to go pick them up." Um, NO!)
We were hoping that having the wedding in another town would stop some of this, because we don’t have the space or budget for a huge guest list, but the wedding is 4 months away and already at least 5 uninvited people have told either my fiance or another friend "I’ll be there!" or even shared their already-made plans for carpooling up there, etc. We’ve only sent out STD’s, not invites yet, and I’m sure there will be more.
You might say that once invites go out and they don’t get one that they’ll realize…but they won’t. These guys are 28-29 years old, btw, not teenagers. They just have NO sense of ettiquite.
So what can I do? We’ve already been trying to spread through the grapevine, through groomsmen, etc, that only invited people are invited. When the people told my finace that they’d be there, he did a deer in the headlights thing and just changed the subject, because what do you say??? It’s not like we hate these people-they’re just acquaintances, and we only have room to invite good friends. It will cause lots of drama and hurt feelings to tell them straight up that they’re not invited, because lots of THEIR good friends are invited…oy oy.
The thing that is worrying me the most is seating. We have a tight space, and each place is going to be assigned. These people who just show up will have NO place to sit, and I’m worried that either they will just move someone else’s place over and sit there, or that they’ll come to us being like, hey, where’s my place? And we’ll have to deal with it the day of, OR that my carefully planned, pretty ceremony and reception seating will be marred by a bunch of random guys standing awkawrdly in the back because they don’t have chairs.
Ahhh! Does anyone have any suggestions?