Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2016 - Virmond Park
FH is going to a bachelor party this weekend. They are staying 1 night in a suite, going paintballing, and going out drinking. All together he is spending almost $200. My question to him: were we invited to the wedding? Nope. Then why are you spending $200 on his weekend? Anyone else find this even a little strange?
Post # 2
Yeah that seems really rude to invite aomeone to the Bach party and not to the wedding! Unless ita like a super small wedding with immediate family only or something…?
Post # 3
MmeSilverBullet: I’m not sure that I find this that strange. I guess it depends on the situation. For example, last year, my SO’s coworker was getting married. My SO joined the bachelor party for a few drinks. Granted, he didn’t go away for the whole weekend or spend $200 but I didn’t think it was weird for him to celebrate with him. I know this isn’t the same, but it’s the only thing I can think of to relate to the situation.
Post # 4
I would find it strange if they were having a medium to large wedding, but if they’re just doing a courthouse ceremony or a very small wedding of just immediate family, I wouldn’t think it was inappropriate. Sometimes friends want to celebrate a upcoming marriage even more so if they won’t be at the wedding itself.
Post # 5
- Wedding: Davis Island Garden Club
I think guys look at these bach parties a little differently. I think they look at it as an opportunity to get together and have a good time, and they don’t think about the etiquette that you shouldn’t invite people who aren’t coming to the wedding.
My FI had friends who are not invited to the wedding that want to throw him a bach party, I think it’s just an excuse to party.
Post # 6
i agree with PP – men view these things differently – all the girls coming to my hen are invited to the day ceremony of our wedding and our my closet friends – yet there are guys going on FI stag that are only invited to the evening reception – i think for guys its a chance to all get together and get drunk! and if they have the money their gonna do it!
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
Yeah, that is strange, I’d be a little offended 🙁 Hopefully your FI will have fun at a guys’ weekend and it won’t bother him too much!
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Is it a super small wedding but the groom still wanted to get together with his guys? In that case, no biggie. Otherwise, yeah, I’d side-eye them for sure.
Regardless, I’m sure the groom and your FI will have a blast and that’s what matters the most.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
If it isn’t a really small, intimate wedding, then yes I would be offended.
Post # 10
I definitely think is sort of rude – especially because it’s overnight and $200. But if your FI wanted to go and is going to have fun, I guess that’s what matters. I probably wouldn’t give up my weekend and money to spend time with someone I wasn’t that close with, though.
Post # 11
MmeSilverBullet: I don’t find it strange. Bachelor and Bachelorette parties are different from showers. IMO, you don’t need to be invited to the wedding to enjoy a night out celebrating the soon-to-be-wed. It’s just a social event to me.
Post # 12
I don’t find it that odd (though I might not be into spending so much for someone I wasnt that close with)
In my circle its pretty common for guys that are not invited to the wedding to go to the bachelor party – its really just a big guys night out vs a wedding event in some ways.
For the girls it can be a little trickier (since girls are more apt to hold a grudge etc) but I still don’t think its a big deal. I didn’t really have a big bachelorette but there were girls that I am friends with (mostly “friends of friends” but I know and hang out with them on occassion) that came since it was just a saturday night out in NYC…. if it was something more intimate then it might be weird but I honestly think the more the merrier for things like this
Post # 13
MmeSilverBullet: Hmm…how long has he known this person? I met a girl in November who was getting married in December and we became fast friends, she and I and a few other women. She invited us to her bachelorette last minute and said “hope you don’t find this rude”. I didn’t but also wasn’t willing to spend what it would have cost. I appreciated the invite, though. It was a way to be included even though she didn’t know us all when she sent invites out.
Post # 14
MmeSilverBullet: if it’s a tiny wedding, I can understand why. Otherwise, it’s rude.
Post # 15
MmeSilverBullet: Guys are different…. they don’t care so much about etiquette. He probably sees this as a chance to dip out and do a guys weekend. If I were a guy, I’d jump at the chance to drink beer and go paintballing.