Post # 1
My friend is getting married next month. She came over and told me about this “awesome” idea her Fiance had.
The plan is to put all guests names into a hat and then during speeches, instead of the Maid/Matron of Honor, Bridesmaid or Best Man, Mom/Dad, usual people doing speeches, they will just draw for whoever has to come up and give a speech.
Now, I told her that I don’t think this is a good idea. She’s having 200 people and public speaking is the #1 fear of many people. For guests comfort, I suggested maybe it’s not a good idea. (I just had to do a Maid/Matron of Honor speech at a wedding of 250 and it was NOT easy!!!!). Then she said “oh…..you’re the first person who didn’t seem to like the idea.”
What do you bees think? Would you want to get up and give a speech? What if it’s a +1 of a guest who barely knows them? She said in that case it would be “funny” and “entertaining” to watch them come up with something. Weird…
Post # 3
Yeah, I love public speaking and still think it’s a terrible idea. It’s no fun to watch someone stammer through an awkward, ill-planned speech. Stick to a few well-planned speeches from key participants and call it good.
I think it COULD be fun to call up maybe some long-together couples for the shoe game or something like that, but I’d pick out the people ahead of time that I knew would be good sports. If she really feels like she needs to call people up.
Post # 4
that’s what I said – save it for right before the dance or something when people are getting drunk haha. Make a game out of it. She wasnt going for that.
Post # 5
I think she’s going to be disappointed. Frankly, if I’d been pulled out of a hat at the last wedding I attended (DH’s cousin that I’ve met once before) I’m perfectly comfortable with public speaking, but all I would be able to come up with on the spot is like “I wish you guys a lifetime of happiness and look forward to our families seeing eachother on a couple holidays a year”. Not entertaining. Generic and awkward.
Post # 7
I think she probably has the grand idea that the people picked will come up with eloquent and heartfelt speeches that will leave everyone in tears. That’s almost definitely the opposite of what will happen. Just think how hard it is to write a great speech about someone you’re really close to as an Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 8
It could be a cool idea if they ask people who want to speak to put their own names in, that way those who are too afraid can be opted out.
Post # 9
I think she would have a lot of angry or embarrassed guests, or even guests who refused. How awkward would it be to draw Mark’s name from the hat, only to have him turn bright red at his table and refuse to come to the microphone? No. Just no.
ETA: Alternatively, she’s going to get some drunk friend up there who, upon being put on the spot, brings up inappropriate topics, (not that that’s never happened with a PLANNED speech at a wedding, but still…).
Post # 10
@Miss Apricot: TOTALLY agree with both of those statements. If my name gets drawn, and likely it will with my bad luck, I’m going to be pretty peeved not gonna lie.
Post # 11
I would come up with a sudden case of diarrhea if I was picked! LOL
Post # 12
I don’t know what the couple think will happen, but it’s a really bad idea. I would not want to go to a wedding where I’d be required to do “homework” first, nor getting caught out without a prepared speech.
Post # 13
@nineteen87: That is exactly what I was thinking.
There are always people in a crowd who would love to get up and give a speech (just as there are many who would rather do just about anything else).
If those people who were interested could put their names in, then everyone wins. The only risk is that there could be only a few names entered.
The other thought is that if these are the only speeches, wouldn’t some of the people (i.e. parents, best man, etc) who want to do a speech get left out?
Post # 14
Oh hell no! Why would she want to put her guests on the spot like that?? That’s actually kind of a mean thing to do. Some people fear public speaking more than they fear death!
Post # 15
NOT a good idea. I would be so uncomfortable the entire time, wondering if my name was going to come up. I know both my Maid/Matron of Honor and DH’s Bridesmaid or Best Man were super nervous about making speeches, and needed a lot of time before the wedding to psych themselves up.
Post # 16
Terrible idea in my opinion. Not only is that super uncomfortable for your guests they likely will be very disappointed by the speeches. The reason your MOH/Best Man give speeches is because they are the people who know you best and have a lot to say. Her decision but I would try to talk her out of this idea.