- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
My SO plays on a co-ed recreational sport league and has for years. We always have a great time, and though I dont play, all of the women there are always very nice and inclusive of me. I look forward to it every week…until now.
A couple of weeks ago, a new gal was added to his team. I’d say she’s 35-40+ years old, and I think knows the woman that organizes the league but no one else. She seemed kind of icy to me when I met her initially, but I’m used to that from women at this point so I just brushed it off.
Last week while they were playing, I kept feeling like I was being looked at. After about 20 minutes of it, I looked up and sure enough the new gal was looking right at me. As I looked back at her, she walked over to my boyfriend and patted his back…then grinned at me. It seemed really bizarre, but I just went back to texting. A few minutes later, I get that feeling again and she’s staring at me, and without breaking eye contact goes “hey, high five!” to my Boyfriend or Best Friend and grins at me.
I realized pretty quickly she was trying to get a rise out of me, as it continued the entire remainder of the game. Boyfriend or Best Friend makes a great shot? “high five!!!” Boyfriend or Best Friend walks across the court? “hey, high five!!” Boyfriend or Best Friend takes a drink of water? “hey, hey! high five!”, all followed by a big, shitty grin in my direction. She was displaying this behavior only with him, no one else on the team. It was truly strange, and I waffled back and forth between being pissed and just downright confused. After like the 22nd time, I looked at her and shook my head very slowly, kind of a “that’ll be enough” signal, figuring she’d quit her stupid game. It had the exact opposite effect, and it went from constant, unsolicited high-fiving to pats on the back and rubs on the shoulder.
Just when I thought it couldnt get any worse, she strips off her sweatshirt (45 degree weather) revealing a thin, v-neck shirt underneath and no bra. She then proceeds to bend over facing my Boyfriend or Best Friend, use her arms to smash her boobs together, looks over her should and smiles like she’s just had a b12 shot. This continued the rest of the game as well.
Not looking to sit in jail the remainder of the evening, I kept my cool. After the game I casually asked my Boyfriend or Best Friend and another couple there if they’d noticed anything wierd. Not surprisingly, SO hadnt noticed a thing (because he’s actually there to play a game) but the other couple had. As we described it to Boyfriend or Best Friend, he said “so it sounds like she was actively trying to piss you off.” Right about then, the new gal was leaving and walked right over to us, said “bye” to the couple and patted my Boyfriend or Best Friend on the shoulder and said “see you next week, buddy!”, looked at me and said nothing, then walked off.
So. What we have is a 40-year old “grown woman” trying to upset me by touching my Boyfriend or Best Friend constantly despite the many signals i’ve given that it’s not going to be a good move long-term. As much as i’d love to rip her mousy hair out of her head, this isnt the wild west and there are laws against it. I am NOT looking to have my Boyfriend or Best Friend get involved, but I’m also not interested in continuing to go and put up with this.
***A couple of disclaimers:
1. I am not jealous of this woman. I’m not sure how to say this in a way that doesnt paint me as a superficial, arrogant b-word (because I couldnt care LESS what people look like)….but, if we were in a combination beauty/fitness contest I’d wipe the floor with her. She is just plain old not attractive. So this isnt a case of me being jealous of the teams new Brazilian supermodel. I simply find her behavior out of line.
2. I’m aware this sounds petty and I could totally just ignore her, but I’m a *big* fan of putting assholes in their place. I think that women do things that men would NEVER do to eachother because there is a more realistic fear of being knocked the f*ck out. They assume (at their own risk) that other women won’t do anything.
So, what would you do?