Strangers compliment my ring frequently while friends / family have no reaction?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@cuppeeecakes: first of all, you’ll probably have guessed someone would say this, but it’s your ring, you and your FI worked hard to choose something special to YOU not anyone else. 

To answer your question I don’t think you should have to say anything to fill the silence, but if you really want to know I would just ask. Say why the silence (with a smile) and see what they say? Or if it’s close family/friends doing this then be honest and say you think it’s a little strange no one has said anything about the ring, why do you think that is?

I have noticed this from a couple of friends, however I have been told from other friends or there other half that it’s a case of the green eyed monster. The friends that reacted this way either have a much more understated ring (absolutley nothing wrong with that and they are all beautiful) or are impatiently waiting for a proposal so it was sort of ‘rubbing salt in the wound’ sort of thing! In the UK typically most women have a smaller diamond, 0.3-0.6ct whereas mine is 1ct which may explain some of it. Not really sure! I love my ring and I’m marrying my best friend so I’m not al that bothered! 

Have you got a piccie of the ring?? x

 

 

 

Post # 4
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

It seems to me like jealousy. Often, when people are jealous of something, they act like it doesn’t exist so as not to compliment you, it pains them to give a compliment. But I don’t know why ALL your friends and family behave that way.

Could it be because they don’t approve of/think your engagement is not right? That’s probably something to consider. If they think you’re too young or your engagement is rushed or anything like that, they’ll reflect that in how they treat you.

Post # 6
Member
2903 posts
Sugar bee

That is very strange. I think something else is going on with your family, maybe not ring-related. But you would know better than me. Hope they get excited soon!

Post # 9
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@cuppeeecakes:  I hope your family come around, but I do have to agree with fvsoccerit does sound like there could be something going on with your family that you don’t know about. Ask your mum or a close cousin maybe? Jealousy seems the most obvious reason, but I don’t see why they are ALL behaving that way, they can’t all be jealous.

Post # 10
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@cuppeeecakes:  it is a shame that you have waiting this long and your so happy that your friends or family aren’t making you feel just as special and showing how happy they are for you. I’m sure it’s probably unintentional on their behalf, the jealousy suggestion by a few does seem the most likley but I think you either need to ask them nicely or just dismiss it and carry on and be happy 🙂

I really want to see your ring now! 😀 

Post # 11
Member
2903 posts
Sugar bee

@cuppeeecakes:  People can be petty sometimes and redirect their feelings at those who don’t deserve them. It seems like you are going out of your way to be considerate of you situation and how it might make them feel, so I wouldn’t worry too much. It sucks though that they aren’t supporting you. But hey! That is what the bee is for, when your friends/family are dropping the ball 😉

Post # 13
Member
502 posts
Busy bee

Why does everyone on the Bee immediately jump to jealousy as the explanation for others not behaving the way we expect them to? Frustrates me to no end.

OP, I don’t admire rings. I’m not a jewellery person. I don’t know the difference between a cheap ring and a million dollar ring. It’s highly possible it’s the same with your family. Heck, maybe they don’t think it’s attractive, or think it’s gaudy, and are sparing you their true feelings. Strangers may appreciate jewellery more, or are just trying to make conversation (cashiers often do that so you leave with a smile on your face).

If they haven’t even congratulated you, that’s a much deeper issue and I’m sure you must have some idea to what’s going on there.

 

Post # 16
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@winstonchurchill:  +100

I think it’s because, deep down, a lot of people want other people to be jealous/envious of them (I’m not talking about the OP since she didn’t even bring the issue of jealousy up.)  It’s very strange.  I mean – let’s be honest.  It always feels pretty good when someone else declares they want “our lives” or something we have.

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