(Closed) Stress + condoms = no sex life? Wahhh…

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
18645 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I have problems with hormones killing my drive too.  I am on Nuvaring right now and it has the least amount of side effects for me.  As for his stress, I don’t think there is a lot you can do about that.  My husband is working and going to grad school and it kills his sex drive too.  We are still working on getting our stuff sorted out as well.

Post # 5
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Would you guys consider Natural Family Planning…?

If you haven’t read already, I would suggest the book : Taking Charge of your Fertility !

Post # 6
6598 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Have you thought about other BC options?

Like the sponge or a diaphragm?

Hope you guys can figure something out.

Post # 7
2894 posts
Sugar bee

I had horrible trouble with hormonal bc and a health issue that crept up this year has my doctor hesitant about prescribing it again. My guy hates condoms and I always forget about them. I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS BUT IT IS WHAT WE ARE DOING – we are using the withdrawal method. It’s worked for me for years without a scare. But if you aren’t willing to risk having kids I DO NOT suggest it. But it’s what works for us.

Post # 8
24 posts
  • Wedding: July 2012

Have you tried an IUD?

Post # 9
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@FuturemrsBas, I was also about to suggest an IUD. I’m currently on the pill and am not loving the side effects (moodiness enhanced by the stress of law school, and weight gain, mostly…) so I’m thinking about talking to my doc about switching. The only problem is the cost…

Post # 11
4804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Could you look into some kind of IUD that may not give you the side effects?  My friend just got a copper IUD inserted.  It is non hormonal and as soon as she takes it out she can TTC.

Post # 12
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Personally, the IUD kinda scares me, so I’m with ya on not wanting to go that route. We’re back on condoms too since I’ve stopped my BC pill, and it took us a little trial and error to find ones that didn’t completely desensitize him. Are you trying the thinnest kinds? There are some w/ lube/texture on the inside for him, or some that ahem, vibrate… Also, have you tried the sponge, or diaphragm that PPs already suggested? As far as stress goes, yes it is a HUGE libido killer. I think everyone falls prey to stress/not so great sex life once in awhile. Hopefully you can get through this soon! 

Post # 13
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Just another vote for an IUD.  I got a Mirena (the one with some hormones), and I love it.  I have not had children, and while yeah, it hurt like a booger – the time it hurt was only maybe 30 seconds, if that.  Then for a day or two it felt like mild period cramps (so i took motrin.)  I love it.  I’ve had it just about a year, and no breakthrough bleeding, and extremely light and short (like, done in a day) periods.  So it might be worth talking to your OBGYN.  It can be a really great choice.

Post # 14
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Too Much Information Alert but.

I can relate……

I have tried every type of birth control available. IUD, Nuva Ring, and about every pill out there. I have had bad reactions to them all. I am also alergic to just about every type of lubricant, latex, and even the non latex condoms bother me. So whats a girl to do? Well we use the pull out method……

Not the he’s almost there method however. My FH has amazing control of his male parts. We have intercourse until we are both satisfied (well at least I am) then I usually will use my hands and mouth to help him to cum.

Post # 15
17 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ehhhh BC sucks! Let’s all go ahead and sit and ponder the suckiness of it for a minute…… We used condoms for a while but they killed it for both my me and my Fiance so we practice the BC and pull-out method. I know. I know that even with the combo this method is really not the best but hey…we both gotta get ours ;). I have had tons of problems throughout the years with BC and I have found the only one that makes me not a complete freaking nut case and also doesn’t leave me feeling nauseous is Loestrin. I have been using this steadily for about 4 years now and I love it. Maybe you should ask your OB/GYN for a sample of it. NuvaRing made me an ABSOLUTE crazy person though, it was not for me but it is very convenient. But it’ll take time to learn what works for your body. Take time and think it over make the best decision for you, it’s your body. You could always stick with the condoms and get yours then help him out manually.

Post # 16
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Eva Peron: Seconded!

NPF is super easy and effective. You just need to abstain during your furtile phase which is about a week per month, and then every other day you’re good to go without worrying about contraceptives or getting pregnant.

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