(Closed) Stressed about bridesmaids!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I know with my situation, my FI had 10 people he wanted to include on his side, and I had about four. We compromised, and I did half the number he had, which puts him at eight (he hasn’t spoken to two of his potential GM in years, so it wasn’t too much of a sacrifice). Would that work in your situation?

If you want to, go ahead and ask the other girls. They might just be flattered, and it might make you guys closer! It’s never offensive to asked to be included in a BP, so at worst they’ll say no but still feel flattered you asked.

Post # 4
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Don’t stress! I know it’s easier said then done but you can do this!!!

Because my FI has lots of brothers, a really close cousin & 2 guys he’s really close with…he wanted them to all be apart of our big day. I on the other hand am an only child and I’m not very close to anyone in my extended family so it’s all girlfriends for me too! Needless to say, our wedding party is lopsided. He’s going to have more people on his side then me but I’m ok with it. I was nervous at first but now that I’m almost halfway thru the process I’m so glad I’ve done it my way instead of being super influenced by other girls (although I love them!)

I’ve been in quite a few weddings in the past where the bridal party is at each others throats by the end of it….I don’t get it but it happens. I say, keep it small and own it girl! Take lots of pictures and share what you need to with your sister and your other 2 close friends. Maybe you can arrange a girls weekend in your hometown and make sure all the girls are there and you can have a WEDDING EXTRAVAGANZA! You don’t have to ask the girls that live near you that you haven’t known for that long to be in your wedding but you can ask them for advice. They can help you feel good about your choices and take pictures when you go check out vendors, help you with DIY projects (if you are doing those), and tell you tips they found along the way during their weddings 🙂

It’s all in what you make of it and don’t forget about your surrogate “bee”maids! The girls on this wedsite are generally really supportive and give great ideas.

Post # 5
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m a big fan of smaller, closer-knit bridal parties. I don’t think you should ask the other girls just to have more numbers. If the three girls you do have are the ones you feel close to and they want to be party of your special day, stick with them. Asking less-close people will take away some of the specialness of the role for both you and the people you are really close to.

Also, you and your FI don’t need to have the same number of people standing up with you. If you want three and he wants five, for example, what does it matter? If it does matter to you, there are other roles you can have some of those guys fill. You could ask a few to be ushers or perform readings at the ceremony.

Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@jo.lee: That is true about just asking them the other girls…most girls would be honored!

Post # 7
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

The girls that live close to you don’t have to be bridesmaids to go and help pick things out. I recently moved also, and none of my bridesmaids live near by, but I do have a couple good friends where I moved to and I’ve asked them to come along when I pick out certain things. They’re already married and they give great advice on things too. If you don’t want to ask them to be BMs that’s fine, but they can still help.

ETA: You don’t have to have the same number of people standing up for you guys. I have 3 and FI has 4. Some people don’t understand the point, but it works for us so who cares 🙂

Post # 9
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Delovely331: It would hurt me too but at the same time it’s almost better that they were honest with you from the beginning. Now you don’t have to worry about them dropping out or hurting your feelings later down the line.

Post # 10
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

What do you need them to help pick out? My BMs picked out their own dresses (with my guidance) and that’s it. I’ve done everything else myself. Only one of my three BMs is local. One is an hour away and the other is five hours away and it’s not a big deal to me. I know they’ll be around for the important stuff.

Personally, I would keep the number at three rather than ask a couple of girls I’m not as close to. Just my opinion.

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