Post # 1
So I have been on this site for a few months now just browsing around and I have decided I can no longer hold it all in. I’m so stressed and overwhelmed about this wedding right now that I just either wish it was over or didnt even happen at all!! I love my FI and want to marry him. It’s not him at all…it’s all me. When we first got engaged this past November, I was soooo excited about all of the planning. Then reality set in. My Family…. my mom passed away in 2005, my Dad lives in the UK, and my brothers are not really involved in my life. A bit of history will explain….My parents are from the UK, they came to the US raised their children, retired and moved back to the UK, I have no other family here except my 2 brothers. I am getting married in Mexico this May and it is confirmed that NONE of my family will be there. My Dad would be there in a minute but he is 77 and not healthy enough to travel that far. I have also found out that my friends will not be there either due to finanaces. Which I understand but then I don’t, because they have been friends of mine since grade school & high school. So basically the 20 people that will be at the wedding with be from my FI’s side only. This is not what I ever expected for my wedding day. I have felt so alone in all of this and just don’t even want it to happen now.
The other issues I have going on…..
1-I am planniing all of this myself with limited funds. VERY limited. I feel like I dont know what I am doing!!!!
2-I am a plus size bride and I have tried my best to lose weight and I had lost almost 30 lbs only to gain most of it back due to stress!! I tried my dress on the other day & I just feel completely disgusted when I look at myself.
3- my FI just found out that his company is “restructuring” and may not have a job.!!! He has to interview for the same job he has now. It’s a daily & hourly worry and we are just waiting for them to make a decision.
4-the one girlfriend I had for almost 20 years seemed to be very excited about my wedding and said she would be there for me thru the entire process and even do my hair & makeup on the day of the wedding… well, I havent heard from her in 2 months and she has apparently deleted me as a friend on FB!!!
5-we are not having a wedding party b/c I won’t have anyone on my side. I don’t think it’s a competition but it sure will suck when the brides’s side is EMPTY and the groom’s side is full.
I’m so overwhelmed with all of the different emotions and I’m so tired b/c I’m working extra hours to help pay for the wedding. All this “Wedding Mess” has only given me problems and stress. I can’t change the wedding plans b/c my FI’s guests have all paid for their trip.
I dont know what to do & I just want this over with ASAP. But deep down I have always wanted my “dream wedding” How can I have it when I feel so bad about myself and everything around the event??
Post # 3
I totally undertand where you are coming from, I HATED wedding planning and I had to deal with 1/12 what you are.
My only advice is to focus on you husband. HE will be there. HE will think that you look beautiful no matter what size you are. when you are saying your vows… you will only be looking and worrying about him.
You wedding will end. Life will go back to normal, except for the fact you will be MARRIED!!!!!!! and you will think about this wedding 1/10000000 of how much you are right now.
Post # 4
@nonapkns: I would LOVE the planning if I wasn’t doing all of it alone. My FI is so stressed out with this work situation that I am having to do it all even at home. It’s getting very frustrating and then I just blow up at him. I love him to pieces but he isnt really helping my situation either. Sometimes I feel like he doesn’t understand the hurt I have gone through since being engaged. And then sometimes I think he does get it.
I do try to focus on the wedding vows and on our actual marriage compared to the wedding. I guess I need to let go of some on my little girl dreams. 🙂
Thanks for your advice!! 🙂
Post # 5
Okay I know this is a bit late but now I’m having a down day. I JUST told my fiance I hate that I’m trying to plan this wedding by myself with no one to enjoy it with me. I too need to let go of my little girl dreams…I don’t care so much about the wedding right now as I do about how things have gone down since I got engaged. First, my older sister was jealous (I hate saying that because I don’t know why anyone would be jealous of me, but that’s the only way to explain why she acts the way she does) and said hurtful things and was completely disinterested in helping me plan. Now she’s engaged and planning her own wedding so she really wants nothing to do with mine. Then my “best friend” who got divorced a few years ago said it’s too soon for her to talk about wedding stuff because of her failed marriage and now doesn’t even speak to me. I have sympathy for her but at the same time, I wish she could be here for me like I was for her when she planned her wedding. My other best friend is in the Air Force and I rarely get to talk to her anymore. She also just got divorced so I try not to bring up the wedding stuff with her when we do talk, even though she has been the most excited for me out of everyone I know! I just feel like I have no one. I have my fiance but his solution to my stress about wedding planning is to just go to the courthouse…and I really don’t want to do that.
Anyway! I didn’t mean to spill out all my problems, I just wanted you to know I can relate!! Reading these weddingbee posts makes me feel better just knowing that I’m not the only one dealing with these issues!! Sometimes I think there’s something wrong with me cuz I get depressed about the wedding and planning, but I guess a lot of us go through that!
I hope that things got a lot better for you!!!