stressed the hell out, need to vent

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee

@mayflowerbride13:  It will be hard and maybe a long road. I hope the company works out  for your sanities sake. Could your SO get a second job in the meantime too?

I hate taking money fro people too. Especially when you don’t know when you’ll be able to pay it back.

Member
5928 posts
Bee Keeper

this wedding has been so stressful for you. Do you think you’ll resent your FI by the time it comes to walk down the aisle? If so, maybe you SHOULD think about taking the money from your parents and having a completely different wedding than you’re planning right now (courthouse, etc)

Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee

@mayflowerbride13:  Hmm… I have a friend who does customer service work online. He does it becasue he has another job that he has to be able to do whenever as well. The online job allows him to be flexible and do the work wheneve he has time.

He should look for work like that. Where there is a will, there is a way! You shouldn’t carry the burden alone!

Member
10668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Did your FI discuss this business venture with you before starting it? He needs to man up and get a job that pays on the side. This is just getting ridiculous. All the people I know that do snow removal have other jobs – even in the winter when it snows!

Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee

@mayflowerbride13:  Well perhaps tell him this calmly. Ask if he can come up with a second option for money while the company gets off the ground.

If this all seems like too much effort then perhaps it is best you end the relationship. Whatever you decide, just besure it is what your heart and mind are ok with. A few dark days now might be better than dark days for the rest of your life.

Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee

Oh I’m so sorry! That’s terrible and you have every right to be upset!

 

I’d sit him down and tell him that he needs to get a second job, why is it fair you have to work 2 jobs to support the both of them when he’s bringing in no income? He needs a slap to the back of the head to wake him up and make him realize he has to help support himself and you.

Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee

@mayflowerbride13:  Well since his mom isn’t giving the loan freely and without a time limit thats a bad option. Dang. I feel for you.

Member
10668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@mayflowerbride13:  ugh that is so not okay.

You guys have a mortgage together so financial decisions need to be made together.

Also, before you start a business and quit your “real” job to get your businss off the ground, you need to have a significant amount of savings to cover you. No business makes a profit immediately.  He’s already set you guys and his business up for failure in that regard. 

Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee

@mayflowerbride13:  I went through this with my FI a couple years ago. We were living together and I have a 4 year old, my mom was living with us and was basically our in home nanny so I paid her for staying home and watching my child. He and I worked together but our boss was getting bad on drugs and getting bad toward her employees. When she started name calling and pushed me we quit that night together. We then went and got another job at the same place but FI quit and when he quit I quit because it was so far away and would be rediculous in gas prices for just one of us to drive out there every day. So I find another job and FI starts looking. I got my job the first day, and I know that’s not typical but for me it is.

I only made 8.5 an hour when I got this job. It took him 5 months before he got a job. And although I love my FI dearly it drove me nuts, absolutely nuts! He would tell me how bad he felt that he couldn’t find a job and I alone had to support myself my child my mother and my BF at the time on a 8.5 an hour job and it was really hard. Really hard. I would get stressed a LOT back in those times.

But I never made him feel bad about it because well at some point in our life we do need that time to take and figure out what we want to do and how to do it. Your FI knows and made a not so good judgement but lesson learned (I hope) not to do that to you again. I frustratingly supported my FI when he was trying to figure it out. 6 months later he supported me for 4 months while I tried to figure out what I wanted to do.

I’d as nicely as possible sit down and tell him just how his decision is effecting your life. When you get married your income will be combined, he needs to understand that he’s got to put his family first when making decisions like these.

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Related Topics:

Find Amazing Vendors