(Closed) STRESSED! What would you do? (long)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What would you do?
    Find another church in FI's hometown and keep everything else as planned to please his family? : (4 votes)
    31 %
    Have the wedding where we live in the gorgeous mountains or a DW on the beach to please us? : (9 votes)
    69 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1297 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I don’t know, it sounds like the two of you need to work out what you want. From your description, it sounds like he’s leaning towards having it in his hometown at this point. Is it really that you two want a DW, or do you two want two different things right now?

    Post # 5
    Member
    1297 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Ah, I see. In that case, I’d talk to him and have him define what he wants for the two of you for a wedding, taking out everyone else’s opinion. Then the two of you decide what it is that you want to do and stick to your guns.

    Inviting everyone to the DW would probably be more soothing than not inviting them at all. However, it might also make it hard to pick venues, etc. if you have no idea how many people will actually make the trip.

    PS — I might be honeymooning in CO! A wedding there would be gorgeous!

    Post # 6
    Member
    2254 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Why not have a DW for you, him, and a small number of people then coming back to his hometown for a larger reception? Even though it will please his family to have the wedding that won’t happen unless you get the annulment. Speak to your FI. This is something both you and he have to be on the same page about.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7992 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    My answer is based on a few factors.

    If you are married in a non-Catholic church, the Catholic church will not recognise your marriage. You will therefore still be “living in sin” in the eyes of the church, and FI will not be able to take communion etc. In order to get a previous marriage ceremony recognised, you have to go through a separate ceremony inside a Catholic church after the fact. Therefore, to do it properly, you will have to get an annulment and then have a Catholic ceremony anyway.

    However, getting an annulment takes a long time. And you don’t want to wait. So don’t wait. Apply for an annulment, and simultaneously organise the (destination) wedding of your dreams. Get married wherever and whenever you want, and be happy. In a year or two, after you get your annulment through the Catholic church, you can then have the Catholic ceremony with all of FIs family there, and after this then the church will recognise your marriage.

    Any good?

    Post # 10
    Member
    1297 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @AirForceWife78 I’m glad you guys worked something out! Have fun planning!

    The topic ‘STRESSED! What would you do? (long)’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors