(Closed) Stressful Bridesmaids??

posted 5 years ago in August 2013
Post # 3
Member
11242 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

What are you wanting them to do? 

Post # 4
Member
12569 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have one who is nonresponsive, unhelpful, and rude.  But honestly at this point, I’m just glad she’ll show up the day of the wedding and I’m not counting on her very much.  It’s 10 months to your wedding though, so they’re probably not even thinking about it yet!

I also have the same question as vorpalette – what do you want them to be doing?  

Post # 6
Member
11242 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Okay, you can’t expect them to help you with your DIY projects. I’ve had my BMs (and other people) offer help that I might take them up on, but they’re not really there for that. 

As for the dresses, YOU need to contact them. Send them an email and say that the time to order your dresses is coming, you you need to sit down and talk to them about it, schedule a day/time to go look/fittings/etc.

Post # 7
Member
2694 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It sucks when thins don’t o as you expect.  I have to admit that even though all I wanted was for my bm’s to get their dress and show up, I really wanted them to be excited for me as well.  They have offered to help but in the beginning I was sad about a friend who seemed not as interested as I thouht she would be seein as she wanted me and fi to get married for years.  

You get over it and then realize that the best part is yet to come. For important stuff, they will show up (it might take a few tries but they will if they want to be in the wedding). And the closer it gets to the wedding, your focus will shift to other things. 

Post # 8
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I have to agree about the DIY projects. If they offer then you can definitely have them help but otherwise you can’t expect it. As a bride your wedding is SUPER exciting (every little tiny detail) but to everyone else its just not the same.

 They will come around though, maybe host a little BM dinner. I sent out fancy invites (just printed at home) to go look at dresses and then have wine and dinner at my parents house (they live closer to the BM’s than me). Everyone loved it and since we were all together it sparked a little wedding interest/talk. Since I live 4 hours from them I am going to continue to try to have little girls weekends here and there up until the wedding to keep us all together and excited for the wedding.

Post # 9
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@jlow81013:  Hey, try not to dwell on the lack of enthusiasm, it’s your sepcial day, not theirs so you can’t really expect them to be as excited and enthusiastic about it as you are. You will find that while many people are very happy for you, they just don’t care what flowers you choose or how you wear your hair. 

As for the one BM that isn’t returning your calls. Chances are she doesn’t feel close enough to you to be a BM anym ore, since it sounds like the main reason (at least in her eyes) she was included was because she was dating your FI’s groomsman. She may just no longer want to be invovled. All you can do is reassure her that you genuinely would like her to remain in the wedding party, but understand if she doesn’t feel comfortable having to be around her ex so much, and you would be ok with her just being a guest instead, if that is what she would prefer.

ETA: typically when couples break up their friends only remain friends with one of them, especially in this case, where she was only a friend because they were dating. If you wouldn’t have been friends otherwise, then you can’t really expect to remain friends after the breakup.

Post # 10
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Well while it is frustrating that they are not as excited as you are no one will be as excited for your wedding as you are.

As the other Bees have already pointed out you can not expect them to help with your DIY projects unless they are the ones who offered to help!

As for the dresses they still have 2 months before you are ordering the dresses I am sure they think they have plenty of time you should contact them with a date to try on dresses if you have not yet!

The way I have been thinking is just expect them to show up on the day of the wedding and wear them dress so anything else that they do is a extra bonus!

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