(Closed) Stressful meeting coming up with friends…

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Can you meet in a neutral location?  Restaurant or coffee shop?

Post # 4
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hmm, I would actually suggest having them over to your place. That way, you will feel more comfortable in your surroundings. Think about how you will feel walking into one of their homes, with all three of them already there – it may be imtimidating. Make up something before hand, like you have to meet so and so at 8pm. If things get heated and you want an out, just use that excuse. Or if things are going well, don’t mention it.

Post # 5
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

If they’re being assholes, why bother?

Post # 6
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I agree with a PP, make it a neutral location, where everyone would is on an equal playing field, and where it would be more difficult for it to go from a hopefully mature, adult convo to a screaming match!!

I wish you luck.  You are definitely in a tough position, and I hope that whatever solution you want, is the one you get.  If not, then they were not your ‘true’ friends to begin with 🙁  Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Meet at Starbucks and be prepared to get ganged up on. I am sure that “clearing the air” will mostly be them bitching you out for what they perceive are terrible injustices., when you’re just trying to grow up. Unless you really have been an a-hole in some way you haven’t mentioned (you killed someone’s cat or slept with their husband idk), you don’t need to pander to them. Listen to them, tell them you’re sorry if they feel that way, but please do not apologize for having a life and bring too old for their mean girls drama crap.

And don’t be afraid to move on. Just because they’re old friends doesn’t mean they’re good friends.

Post # 9
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@HappyGirl45:  this whole situation sounds so immature. It seems like you have outgrown your friends because they are being childish.  It’s just so sad that they feel the need to set up an intervention. An intervention is done when you are hurting yourself. They are creating drama. and it appears they don’t have your feelings or interests at heart at all and just want to make you feel bad! This is so high school! I’ll be shocked if you walk away from it feeling good about your friendships. Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I just did this with the same kind of friend.. there was only one of her and i felt nervous. We met at strbucks .. it was neutral and we were both comfortable.

I was really nervous and she tends to be very irrational and I did something smart that i think you should do too.

In case she didnt get the point, or if she wanted to go over it later, I wrote her a letter of my intentions in a very very non standoff, honest way, placing no blame on either of us. It was a “closure” letter. Maybe you should do this for each of them. If you feel like things have gone wrong or that they have fed off eachother and did not hear you out or misunderstood.. having the letters will make you feel better, even if you dont give them. That takes the stress away from saying everything you need to, and leaving without anything misunderstood.

It also puts your viewpoint in a way that cannot be twisted later… because you wrote it out. they cant rehash and twist your words if it is also in writing.

Hope this helps 😉

Post # 15
Member
7697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@HappyGirl45:  And why are you meeting them?  Why put yourself in a vulnerable position, with “friends” that aren’t?

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