(Closed) Stressful Mother – What to do?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hmm… This is tough yes you would think that she would want to be there for all that stuff for her only daughter. If you want her there you need to tell her. But if it would be less stressful like you said it might be maybe just let it be. I mean as long as she goes to the actual wedding and reception thats the important thing. And I can understand her not going to get your hair done I guess.. But She should be at the rehursal. If it were me I would be upset and want her there. But like I said if you want her there then you need to talk to her about how important it is for you.

Post # 4
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I would take a minute to organize your thoughts. You want your mom do be there right? But do you want her to be there because of what you dream your wedding would be like and how you wish she would act? Or because you recognize how she will likely act and you want her there because of that.

If you are wishing for things to be a certain way, then maybe its best she not be there. One would think that she would want to be there, but if she doesnt want to be there for whatever reason, it may be best she is not.  

You need to decide what you want based on her most realistic expectation of what she will say and do and make you feel, not based on what you wish it would be like.

Good luck

Post # 5
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@ceamoste: Let her be MIA. I also have a difficult mother-daughter relationship, one I haven’t quite figured out yet either. Even so, here are my 2 cents on the matter:

Honestly, while you may miss out that experience of mom having you get ready, you should let it be a defining moment in your life. Not that you’re missing out on something, but that you are accepting your mother as she is–self-absorbed and dramatic–and choosing to not let it affect your life.

And just think, you might actually have a peaceful moment in the day without her there to make the drama. Good luck in whatever you decide.

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