Post # 1
Currently FI is in Las Vegas for his 5-day bachelor party, that ends on Sunday.
They left this morning, but we’ve been apart since late yesterday (yes, CHRISTMAS), because he had to be by them to get in the limo at 6 am for the airport.
I’ve been incredibly stressed out and frustrated about this trip for a while, but before anyone bashes me for not trusting my FI, I want to say that I trust him implicitly. What’s upsetting me is that the groomsmen who put the whole thing together made it interfere with Christmas and have been sending group texts (including me for some stupid reason) for the last nine months since they booked it up until this morning when they left. The one guy who organized most of it has been increasingly hostile toward me as of late and I’m just afraid that he would do something to spite me.
I know it’s partly paranoia, but this trip has not been easy for me and it’s really only day 1. I’m stressed out at work and sleeping alone in our house for the first time… five nights in a row. It’s just been really hard. I know I’ll be happy when it’s over, but I just wish it didn’t have to be so lengthy and over the Christmas/New Year’s Holiday.
Am I being out of line for feeling the way I feel? I know I should just try to do my own thing, but I’m busy with work, too, so it’s not like I can really enjoy the time to myself. 🙁
Post # 3
@csteen85: Are you not having your own bachelorette party? I would at least go out with your girls at least one night this week while he’s in Vegas to have some fun of your own! 🙂
Post # 4
@txrodeo: I have Friday off and I’m having lunch with a couple of girlfriends and then my MOH is coming to my house to sleep over. I will definitely try to have some fun, but I’m still feeling anxious. I just don’t know how to shake it :(.
Post # 5
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, but I do think the time for having this conversation has passed. Did you discuss how uncomfortable you were with this party before he went? I don’t know why he thought it would be okay to be gone for Christmas. I feel like you should have shut that down before he left, but I’m not sure there’s much you can do now that the trip is already happening. I guess my advice is just to trust your FI, remember that he loves you, and keep yourself busy doing girly things you enjoy (chick flicks, wine, girls night out, etc).
Post # 6
I think it is perfectly natural to be feeling upset. First of all, a 5 day bachelor party is a bit excessive, but whatever. But the timing is horrible in terms of the holidays. I am afraid I would more than slightly resentful if I was your situation. The only things I can suggest are to try and relax and do try to have some fun while he is gone.
Post # 7
@trueblue14: I agree, 5 days is a super long time, and that’s not very thoughtful of him to go at this time of year. I definitely wouldn’t be happy about it either.
Post # 8
@msfahrenheit: It wasn’t until really recently that we learned he’d have to spend christmas night sleeping closer to where the guys would be getting in the limo. It was so close to Christmas that we found out and I was already really anxious about the trip that I decided to just let it go.
There really weren’t any other options – I would have had to drive him 45 minutes to meet the guys at the limo at 5 am so I could get back home in time to get ready for work (it’s so that I can have access to a car while he’s gone). I didn’t realize how big of a deal it was to me until we were driving out there on Christmas day and I slept alone on Christmas night.
I expressed my reservations about the trip along the way, but ultimately, I sort of realized there wasn’t a compromise. If he didn’t go, he’d resent me and be upset and if he did go, I’d be upset, but I just had to find a way to get over it on my own.
I am trying to pass the time (and being stuck at work until 9 pm surely helps) but I can’t help but feel resentful.
I couldn’t do my Bachelorette party at the same time, because his BM didn’t consult with us before picking dates and because it was harder for the girls to get together during this holiday break – everyone has family plans.
Post # 9
A 5 day bachelor party??! You’re not out of line at all for feeling the way that you do. I would be upset too 🙁 He’s already gone now so my only advice would be to have fun with your girls. I hope you have a great bachelorette party!
Post # 10
@csteen85: Awww! Honey I feel for you! My FH has one friend (bitter and recently divorced) that I don’t trust as far as I can throw him and I stress and feel anxious EVERY time they go out together b/c I feel like he would put FH in a compromising situation on purpose.
Feel better! & Play with your new Christmas presents! 🙂
Post # 11
@csteen85: i defintely know how you feel ! I am not prepared for my FIs bachelor party !!! I’m gunna try to do my bachelorette party the same weekend so I don’t have to just sit there while he’s out with his boys ! I hope you’ve been feeling better :))
Post # 12
@csteen85: & also my FI has THAT friend who is just ugh and can’t trust as far as I can throw him? Why is there always that friend ???? & really that’s what I’m anxious about !!
Post # 13
You’re a more patient/kind soul than I….no way in hell would my FI be going anywhere for 5 days for a Bachelor party, let alone Vegas. I trust him to no end, but I also don’t really believe in destination bachelor/ette parties; you’re getting married, you’re supposed to be over the moon-why is a huge party revolving around strippers needed? NO WAY….but I think you should have put your foot down about this from the get-go..can’t do anything about it now, except go have your own fun.
Post # 14
I disagree for people saying that 5 days is excessive. My bachelorette party is my friends and I going on vacation somewhere warm for 5 days. And we went to the Bahamas for 5 days for my other friends bachelorette. There were no strippers and just fun with your best friends.
I’m just saying, if girls can do it, why can’t guys? If you trust your FI, you should trust him to do the right thing and not be lead by his hostile best man so easily.
However, it does suck that they’re going around the holidays, when it should be about family. That stinks. 🙁