Post # 1
Just wanted to share. I hope you won’t think it sounds preachy–it’s definitely what’s on my heart tonight.
Today, very close to my house, an apparently wonderful man was killed by a wrong-way driver who was drunk in the middle of the day. My Fiance drives about 20 miles on that same freeway to see me and it was another reminder (as if I need one), that nothing is guaranteed.
I lost a lot of my family to death at a relatively young age, and it left me without those sanity-saving lies we tell ourselves like, “it won’t happen to me/us.” My amazing and patient Fiance had to wait for me to let down all the walls and risk loving (and losing) him before I truly opened my heart. Tonight we talked tonight about that, and how each day we have together is a gift, how lucky we feel to have each of those days to be joyously, unreservedly in love.
I hope all of you can still tell yourselves those lies I’m talking about. But every now and then when wedding planning and the related issues start to make you crazy (I’ve been there!) remember for a moment that in many ways it is pure luck that you and your beloved have each other and can continue to enjoy each other. It’s a cliche, but we’re all hanging by a thread. The simple joy of loving and being loved… for today… is a gift beyond measure, and all the rest of this is just window dressing–beautiful, sometimes-important and usually-worthwhile dressing…. but the real meat of this bridal life while we have it is the reality of the wonderful blessing that two people have become to each other, the miracle that they found each other and “fit” each other, the randomness of Fate (or God or whatever you want to call it) that allows this joyous pairing to continue… one more day, one day at a time.
And wring eveyrthing you’ve got out of that day together.
I’ll step off my soapbox, now. Just felt compelled to share…
Post # 3
I met my Fiance the year I turned 50. I’d never even been close to getting married and thought it just wasn’t what God wanted for my life. What a blessing to find a person who can be there for you, love you unconditionally and plan a future with. A year and a half after we started dating, he had a massive heart attack and nearly died. People told me to leave him, that he wasn’t going to be around and that marrying him was the biggest mistake I could make. When you love someone, it isn’t about how long, it’s about how much you can open your heart up to another person. There will be a lot of tears on my wedding day, we’ve been through so much. And I wouldn’t change a single thing.
Post # 4
@39bride: Thank you. I needed that reminder after the week I’ve had. The wedding has been stressing me out and I’ve been very angry this week towards some of my family and friends and their “helpfulness/advice.” I need to focus on my fiance and our love and why we are getting married. So, truly, thank you.
Post # 5
@PMSJL: I know exactly what you mean (though it’s something I’ve only been learning recently–and even though my Fiance doesn’t have any threatening health problems or a dangerous lifestyle I still feel like only today is guarateed).
“When you love someone, it isn’t about how long, it’s about how much you can open your heart up to another person.” You are exactly right! It’s a scary idea, but it can be SOOOO rewarding. You are definitely living your values!
I have a friend slightly older than me (also getting married for the first time when she never believed it was possible) whose Fiance is also dealing with heart problems. I have to admit I don’t know if I’d have as much courage and strength as she does. She’s been very impressive standing by his side from the 3rd month of their relationship, onward.
@mrs_skydiver: You’re welcome. I’m so glad it was useful. That’s exactly why I posted it.