Post # 1
My fiance’s income is the only source for our wedding budget, and I’m really getting freaked out and overwhelmed at all of the costs that come with a wedding. He is the only one working, as we both agreed that it is best for our family that I am at home with the little ones until they’re in school. He makes decent money, but we don’t have an abundance of spare income. I am starting to get worried that we won’t be able to afford the expense of a photographer, enough food to feed our guests, etc. I’m already (obviously) planning a DIY wedding, but there is only so much I can do on my own. Sigh…
I really wish that I could feel more excited about planning my wedding right now, but I’m just afraid that it’s going to be a dud.
Post # 3
I suggest sitting down and working out a realistic budget for the big day. It will be easier to plan things with concrete numbers. Less stressful!
Post # 4
Sorry to hear you are feeling stressed about wedding expenses. My FI and I have definitely been surprised by how expensive everything is and how much it adds up – constant sticker shock! Our game plan has been to prioritize our spending – what items matter most to us, what could we do without, how do we rank them in importance – and go from there.
We are also drawing on family and friends as much as possible to help. If anyone offers to help, I say, “I’m writing your name down and I will take you up on your kind offer!” Sometimes it’s hard to accept help but I figure people won’t offer if they don’t mean it. I have tried to write down notes (ex. “Susie doesn’t want to do anything creative but will run an errand that day”) if they specify that.
The good news is that you have over a year to save and plan.Your wedding is going to be a wonderful day no matter what! There are lots of great ideas and supportive people here on the WB so keep us posted on your plans!
Post # 5
Have you thought doing something to make a little money on the side? Since you’re at home with your kids, you could do some babysitting. You could also work on the evenings or weekends, or do something else you could do from home.
Post # 6
As of right now, I have set a quaint budget of $3,000 for the wedding. However, looking at the costs of the big stuff, I’m afraid that it’s going to be very difficult to stick to it. I have purposely set our wedding date pretty far out, so that we can get stuff throughout the year, and hopefully avoid too many financial surprises. We (by we, I mean my mom and I) will be doing all decorations, entirely on our own. I am probably going to take cake decorating classes or just use Youtube as a resource to learn to do cupcakes in lieu of a wedding cake. I am trying to come up with a meal plan that I can do on my own, without having to stress during the big day. My mom and step-dad are trying to pull some resources to help with the food and music, but I’m afraid it’s going to end up pretty hillbilly, when I’m going for elegant and structured.
@Fairy Penguin, I am going to do that as much as possible, but it’s scary for me to rely on others to do what they say they’re going to do. We have some flakes — well meaning flakes, but flakes, regardless — in our realm of family and friends that I would be pretty nervous to trust with some of the important details that I will need help with.
I have thought of finding a part time job to help with the costs, but my fiance can work as much OT as he needs (from home, even), so he thinks it’s kind of silly for me to work part time, making about a 1/4 of what he can make just putting in extra hours. However, he already puts in 60+ hours a week, and I really don’t want to work him to death over one day.
I don’t know. I feel like maybe I should just tone down my expectations a bit, shave the guest list down to about 50 of our closest relatives and friends, and just do a cake and punch reception. I just really wanted something nice because my first wedding was done when I was 16 and seven months pregnant, in a mayor’s office. No pretty dress, about ten guests, and way too young to appreciate the commitment involved in a marriage. I just want this one to be done right, KWIM?
Post # 7
@future_mrsakp: Ah, I have some flakey friends, too, so I know what you mean. Best not to accept their offers of help, unfortunately. I just threw it out there because sometimes it can be hard to accept help (I know that’s the case for me) but extra hands make for a lighter load.
Thanks for the additional information. I can definitely understand why you would want to have a really beautiful, elegant wedding. I have found the WB to be a great resource so I hope you find useful information here. There are many creative and affordable ways to plan a wedding! We are having a cake and punch reception so I am a little biased, but I think it’s a lovely, less expensive way to celebrate.
Post # 8
@Fairy Penguin: I talked to my fiance about how I was feeling about the financial strain, and one suggestion that he made was to buy a nice digital camera and have my daughter and his mother (who both have a bit of an eye for photography) take pictures with it. This way, we only spend $300-$400 for the cost of the camera instead of paying the price of a professional photographer, we have a nice camera to keep afterward, plus I can edit and print the pictures the way that I want. I under estimate his abilities to help me with this kind of stuff, but he really has some good ideas! I’m already feeling better after just talking with my fiance. Go figure, eh!?
Post # 9
I was in your shoes about 5 months ago: sahm, kids at home still and fi with the only income footing the wedding, along with all the other ‘normal’ bills. I was so freaked out we wouldn’t be able to make it work, with only 9-10 months to plan and the cost of a wedding a not so nice reality.
I decided to get a pt job (lucky I have both my fil’s living right next door, both retired and they babysit for me for free…kids are there just about everyday anyway and they love having them). I was able to save up enough money so far to not only book all the vendors I wanted/needed, but I also added some things to my budget I had cut out initially to stay in my original $3000 budget.
In your cass, have you looked at odd jobs you can do at home? Not sure what your skill set is, but maybe tutoring would work or babysitting or even selling stuff you have that you don’t need on ebay and craigslist. You have some time left… so use it to your advantage and good luck.