Post # 1
I’m a little worried that FI will go to a strip club and get a lap dance for his bachelor party. He is easily persuaded by others so I have a feeling he won’t be able to say no if it comes down to it.
I on the other hand do NOT want to go to a strip club for mine, I really think it’s stupid and don’t see the point.
Anywho, I know there really isn’t anything that I can do but to trust him!
I bring this up now because I just watched Tamra’s (OC Housewife) wedding special on Bravo last night, and shiz hit the fan when she got a raunchy lap dance yet when her FI got one it was the end of the world.
How many of you bees and your FI’s did the whole strip club thing for the bachelor/bachelorette party? And how did it effect your relationship with you came back? Got any stories to share?
Post # 3
@Artificial-Sweetener: I didn’t have a bachelorette party and he didn’t have a bachelor party. Both of us try and find excuses to avoid events like that so we would never have them for ourselves. I wouldn’t want him to go to a strip club and he never would – the same goes for me. I find it disrespectful and unnecessary. I wouldn’t be with someone who didn’t put me first and respect what I wanted (if it was reasonable to do).
If my man was easily influenced by his friends and completely went against my wishes and what holds true for our relationship then he’d be coming home to an empty house. I don’t have time or patience for juvenile antics. At this point what your wife (or future wife) wants should trump what your friends want. If it doesn’t, I see that as a problem. My man would never do something I was uncomfortable with and I extend him the same courtesy.
Post # 4
I lucked out and my FI when camping in the mountains for his bachelor party. One of the guys still tried to go to a strip club (amazingly there was one about 30 minutes from the campsite) but they had all been drinking and didn’t want to spend the money. They told him (the guy that wanted to go) that if he drove/got a taxi and paid for it, they’d all go….yeah, he dropped it real fast after that.
I did tell my FI that while I don’t like it, I would be fine if he went to one. I would NOT, however, tolerate him being touched or him touching the girls. So no lap dances, spankings, etc.
Post # 5
@Artificial-Sweetener: I already know that FI isn’t the strip club type of guy- and I wouldn’t say he’s “easily persuaded”, but he IS a go-with-the-flow type of guy.
The one bachelor party he has attended since I’ve been with him was at a cabin- so basically guys weekend at the cabin. Now FI’s work schedule won’t allow him to do a weekend trip, so although nothing’s planned that I have heard of, my guess is they will be local (which is a large city)- and I know at least one of the guys *might* consider suggesting a strip club with no harm intended. So I just sort of told him that it wasn’t my preference, and he’s going to adhere to that. Thankfully, even under the throws of the boys for his bacjelor party, my FI won’t do anthing that makes me uncomfortable (within reason- if eating meat made me uncomfortable, or I told him drinking alcohol makes me uncomfortable, he might tell me to take a hike LOL)-
I’m sure you trust your FI, but if it’s something you think might nother you come that evening, maybe just talk to him about it?
Post # 6
@Artificial-Sweetener: My husband just isn’t the strip club type, he thinks it’s a huge waste of money. We both had a few nice dinners out with friends instead of the traditional bachelor/bachelorette party, and we both thought it was perfect.
Post # 7
@MrsEME: Oh ya, we have talked about it and he knows how I feel. Even though he knows how I feel, I don’t doubt that he might “give in” once his cousins and friends start to push. Just a shitty situation, I mean it won’t make us or break us at this point. We have been together for 7 years with no infidelity, but if he did decide to go I would really hope that there would be NO touching.
I don’t get the point of wanting to go there anyways.
Post # 8
@IzzyBear: Yes; I might have to suggest a camping trip (he loves to camp).
Post # 9
No strip club for my bachelorette party – we had a nice dinner, went out for drinks and dancing and then went to the spa the next day. Perfect 🙂
No strip club for my husband either – he and his friends rented a house on a lake for a long weekend and hung out.
Post # 10
@Artificial-Sweetener: Neither one of us went.
Idk if he would have minded if I did, but I sure was NOT okay with the idea of him going!
Not that I would have ever wanted to go to a strip club for mine regardless, but even if he wouldn’t have cared I still wouldn’t have gone because it would have been a double standard & frankly I find oogling other people sexually to be extremely unfaithful & too vulger to even fathom.
If he had crossed that line, I am not at all kidding when I say that I would have left him. That may sound extreme, but he knew how serious I was/am about him remaining faithful (I view strip clubs as cheating, even if no touching takes place) so if he had gone despite my requests that he not, I would have known 1) that he didn’t genuinely care about my feeling nor respect my boundaries & 2) that he was not the sort of man that I could build a life with who respects me & the Lord.
Post # 11
My fiancé has been to a strip club once, when he was 18 and he went with many of his friends, just for fun. It’s totally not his style to go to that type of place and it would really surprise me if he went there for his bachelor, but who knows ? If that’s how his friends plan on doing, it wouldn’t bother me. I know he would never find the dancer as attractive as I. I know it would never get him turn on either. And he would be so shy anyway, so I don’t believe he would enjoy it. But I would not want him to feel that I would be mad or disappointed if he went there. That’s just for the heck of it, just because it’s a bachelor party, so even if it’s not something that I find particularly appealing, I wouldn’t mind for the occasion.
I would not like my friends to bring me to a strip club on my bachelorette either. I went too when I was younger, just out of curiousity, and it was so awkward ! I’d rather have a sleepover and watch silly movies and drink mimosas with long time friends. 🙂
Post # 12
My bachelorette party was at a friend’s house with a small group of friends, and we just listended to music and drank quite a bit.
My husband’s bachelor party consisted of him and two of the GM (his best friend and my cousin), and they did go to a strip club. I know that my cousin got a private dance (he was so proud of that and would not shut up about it), that the best friend almost got kicked out for texting his girlfriend, and that my husband ended up paying for the other two.
I wasn’t thrilled at the time that he was going to a strip club, but I trust him. He said it was more awkward than anything else.
Post # 13
Neither of us had bachlor/ette parties. Neither of us really felt the need. I did watch The OC wedding last night….Eddie sure seemed to be liking his lap dance thou….LOL! Tamara on her party thou didn’t really seem to be as into it thou!
Post # 14
We haven’t gotten that far, but I would not go to a strip club (and have turned down numerous “ladies night” invites), and I do not want him going. To me personally, it is downright disrespectful to go to one when you are in a commited relationship. I don’t get the whole “one last hurrah” for bachelor(ette) parties. I don’t think it’s a “last chance to get things out of your system”, you should have done that before getting into a serious relationship.
-again, those are just my PERSONAL views on it-
Post # 15
I didn’t even have a bachelorette party per se because my brothers and dad were there. We went bowling, lol. And DH didn’t have one at all but both of us are totally against strip clubs, so even if someone else was having a bachelor/ette party at a strip club neither of us would go.It’s so lame and cliche.
Post # 16
My sister and cousin are planning my bachelorette party and they want to go see Thunder from Down under in vegas. Its basically a strip show, but they don’t get fully nude. My FI isn’t into strip clubs, but I can see his BM still dragging him to one. But I trust my FI and know hw wouldn’t do anything crazy…I have to trust him, just like he trusts me and my girls to go to Thunder down Under 🙂