Strip clubs

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Your FI needs to man up, here. If he doesn’t want to go, he can say that himself.

Post # 4
1715 posts
Bumble bee

It shouldn’t be too difficult for your fiancée to spend time with his brother without going to the club. 

1) Your fiancée could spend time with his brother earlier in the day or on a different day.

2) The brother and everyone else attending the festivities could meet at a bar first. Your fiancée can celebrate with them there. After that everyone else will go to the strip club and your fiancée won’t. 

If your fiancée doesn’t want to go to strip clubs, he doesn’t have to. 

Post # 5
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Some guys like them and some guys don’t. Popular culture tells us that going to strip clubs is a rite of passage and mark of manhood. The guys who like them latch on to this pop culture concept and try to perpetuate it as a sign of their own manliness. Let them. You and your FI know that they are not right for your relationship, and that is all that matters.

Post # 7
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@danier:  I think the ‘fixation’ is personal, one way or the other.  Where you and I have both agreed that it is not appropriate in your relationship, any fixation seems silly.  Whereas others may disagree, and find it to be fun/funny/a rite of passage/entertainment, or a way to feed a sexual desire.  I suppose to each their own.  

FI is not a regular. strip club goer  However, I know he will be taken to one for his bachelor party, of which is fine with me.  His brother had a bday in May, and wanted to have a gentleman’s night out with dinner, drinks and a strip club.  FI went, and I was fine with it as well.  For these types of events – I ‘get’ it.  If he were to go on a regular basis, then I would take issue with the money spent, and the why it needs to be or is so frequent.

This is the relationship ‘boundary’ we have on this issue.  Again, to each their own!!

Post # 8
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

@Rhopalocera:  +1 It seems like there are a couple of ways your FBIL can go to strip club with others while still getting to celebrate with your FI, especially since your FBIL seems like he’s understanding. My FI and I feel the same way about strip clubs, and I would no way in hell be comfortable going along. Spare yourself the gross out.

Post # 9
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I’m a little confused by your FI’s brother. He says he wants to go to the strip club but he also says he will NOT go b/c he knows his brother doesn’t want to go? That seems a little passive aggressive. 

Anyway, since he brought up skipping the strip club and just going to a bar, I think your FI should say “Yes, thanks, that would be great.” and do that.

Post # 10
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

As you’ve discovered… there are a lot of threads on WBee about Strip Clubs…

WHY we need another beyond me… especially when you don’t really require help on this issue as you and your Man have already determined the boundaries that work for YOUR RELATIONSHIP

(In truth everyone is entitled to figure out the boundaries that work for their OWN RELATIONSHIPS respectfully as well)

To answer the only real Question you’ve posed:

What the heck is the fixation with these clubs anyways ?

Well that would be man’s innate sexual appetite…

And the fact that they are hard wired to be Hunters.

Men are visual creatures… it is what PRIMES their sexual hunger

They are fascianted by the fact that EVERY WOMAN is somewhat different from the next…

Different Hair – Different Facial Features – Eye Colour – Skin – Shoulders – Arms – Legs – Feet – Breasts Size, Shape & Areola – Our Tummies – the curve of our backs – the tightness of our thighs – Shape of our Ass – and the “flower” that exists between our legs

When they see a woman…. especially naked they fantasize about having her sexually…

It is arrousing to them… to think they might be skilled enough to “catch” such an exotic creature and have her

Strip Joints & Sex Clubs fulfil this fantasy at a relatively low cost

No entanglements of a Relationship… a man can SEE all of woman including her flower up close & personal

And in some clubs… for a fee he can “possess” her in some sort of more intimate way… again without a lot of entanglements

And if he has enough money to spend… he can do the same with several woman

A wet dream for many a man

That is the attraction

It is a lusty fantasy… that can be both fed and had without much responsibility / consequence to the outside world

— — —

In truth, many women don’t understand not only because we aren’t men, and don’t think like a man.

BUT we have been fed half-truths by men on WHAT the attraction is, and what truly goes on in many clubs

BECAUSE, they know it is a guilty pleasure… and if more women knew the truth, then more of us would object to what really goes on behind closed doors in a lot of these establishments

The word “stripper” covers a multitude of sins.  Most of us believe it is an Exotic Dancer (and men don’t tell us the whole truth, a lie of ommission)… but in fact more often than not when a man says “Stripper” he is actually describing someone engaged in the Sex Industry beyond someone who just dances naked.

And THAT is the message that needs to get out there to ALL Women !!

KNOW what your guy is really up to… so you can protect yourself.

Hope this helps,


Post # 11
1715 posts
Bumble bee

@danier:  Then the brother could continue with his plans to go to the strip club. On a different day — the day after or later in the week — your fiancée and his brother can spend time together.

Or, if the brother really is fine with changing the plans, you could let him come up with something else to do instead of going to the strip club.

You and your fiancée still don’t need to go to a strip club if you don’t want to.

Post # 12
6158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

if your FI doesn’t want to go to the strip club for his bachlor party, his friends shouldn’t push him too.  but as for his brother’s b-day, if that’s where he wants to go, your FI should make the decision if he wants to go or not, your shouldn’t have to join him.

i am in the camp of not seeing what the big deal is about strip clubs.  i don’t care if DH goes.


Post # 14
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

@danier:  My DH was invited to his best friend’s bach party… they went to strip clubs and my husband skipped that part and came home. It may have been uncomfortable and he probably got slack for it, but oh well… he didn’t want to go so he didn’t!

Post # 15
547 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t go with him and I wouldn’t want him to go either. His brother chose to do something neither of you are comfortable with, so he should understand that your SO won’t be going. I’d just spend time with him some other day to celebrate his bday.

Post # 16
4719 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I guess your DH needs to just suck it up and tell his brother that it’s his own decision. Unfortunately, no matter how many times he says it’s his own decision – his friends are never going to believe it. It can be pretty hard for some people to understand why a guy wouldn’t want to go. 

My DH is not a regular by any means, in fact, I don’t think he’s been to one in years (not because he objects to it, but because he’s too cheap…haha). That being said, in his younger years he and his friends went for every “occasion” and I have no problem with it. I don’t think it’s a fixation by any means, I think it’s what a lot of guys like to do for fun? The tables could be turned, and say “what is the fixation with NOT allowing guys to go to strip clubs”.

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