IM A STRIPPER. I stumbled upon this website on accident, and just couldnt resist putting my two cents in.
I work in a strip club, and i also do private parties. I understand why me and my peers are judged and stereotyped, but I have never performed any illegal sexual acts in a strip club or private party for money. When I do private parties, they are fun and CLEAN, and entail nothing that one's significant other couldn't see. I obviously can only speak for myself, but the majority of dancers are really just dancers, not prostitutes.
I realize that I'm biased, but I would encourage anyone to consider hiring a stripper for a private party, as they are a guaranteed good time. We are professional (considering the circumstances lol) and make for a great "one last hoorah". Also, from my experience, a strip club holds just as much risk for skanky-ness as a private party. Dont think that just because a club has bouncers, cameras and a croud, that extras dont occasionally happen.
PS- it looks like most of the negative posts are from women, who are naturally going to be opposed to a random woman getting naked for their man.
Hoo boy, if you don't mind getting naked for strangers, please go ahead and do that. But not in front of MY man!
These threads never end well.
I'm glad you're not the "ALL men CHEAT with girls like ME, Now let me tell you why!" type we usually see around here.
Ah yes I knew that wouldn't be received well. Not trying to start a war, I just wanted people to hear the other side.
When I'm doing a party, I'm just waiting for the hour to be over. And when your guys are at the party, most of the time they're talking about you, their girlfriends.
I am one that is in the minority, I dont care if my man goes to strip clubs. He isnt doing any harm. I am encouraging him to get strippers for his bucks party I have complete trust in him! If you have the confidence to get your clothes off and dance in front of strange men then I say go for it girl! I wish I had that confidence or I too would be a stripper! :-P
@shewolf: +1 to all this. There's a lotta stripper hate out there (and on these boards), but I personally don't agree with any of it.
@shewolf: @VAwife: also agree with both of you. I really don't mind, at all. OP appreciate you sharing your side, but it will not be taken well around here. Some people just don't agree with strippers/strip clubs etc and there is no sense trying to change their opinion (not saying they're wrong in believing what they do - everyone is entitled to their own opinion on the subject). This subjects been beaten dry on the bee :P
I'm ok with strip clubs. Neither I nor FH are ok with/want lap dances, but i think some of what you guys do would take talent (not everyone can dance for prolonged periods of time, or spin upside down on a pole).
Out of curiousity, what made you decide to become a stripper (if you don't mind me asking)?
Agree with PP. I dont understand stipper hate or porn hate. I just dont get it.
No - I don't get all this stripper-hate. I don't understand where one thing in everyday life is deemed to be ok and another (very closely related thing) doesnt? It is just entertainment, after all. When you think of the way some pop stars dress on stage ...well in my opinion, they wear nearly as little as some strippers in clubs do. Even turning pages in a womens magazine you will find umpteen pictures of topless, bikini-clad or nearly naked (and beautiful) women. When you do a search on google for somethign completely innocent you sometimes get naughty pictures come up - there is sexiness everywhere - just think about the way we are ancouraged to bring little girls up.
My partner has never (I don't think) been to a strip club but I have been to burlesque shows and have really enjoyed them. I wouldn't be upset if he went to a strip club because it's all about beauty - feminine beauty and it is something that we all share in common. Some may brand it trashy but in reality it is really just like looking at a beautifully undertaken study of an artists model - it is art (albeit in a different schema) and some very well known artists have done some quite graphic nude portraits.
I know that many people are offended by this, and I DON'T think it is wrong to be offended by sexuality, by nudity and by moderniity (beacause I do disagree with modern sexuality in alot of guises - the rampant explicitness of TV and music stars, how it seems to be OK for a woman to look at another womans body in a womans magazine and not for a man in a mans magazine and of course the massive gender-divide in children, in girls who are guided by society from a very early age to become sexual/pretty/beautiful beings and it seems NOTHING else). Most of my friends are shocked by my attitude towards things like this because ll of them bar none would be uset and offended if their partner went to a strip club, bought a naughty mag or even watched something online. The way I see it is that I find beauty in a womans body, her curves her beautiful face but ALSO in a gorgeous rounded mans bottom, a totally awesome sandwitch, a landscape, a photo, an artists picture, anything...and I take enjoyment from them all and just because I enjoy an amazing 6-teir sarnie as much as I do looking at a gorgeous ass, it doesnt mean I want to do anythign sexual with either of them. I know that this is just me, but I wanted to say that I totally understand WHY most women (and man) would feel distressed about a stripper-situation, but I don't because if I did my man would have to ban me from takeaway joints, patisseries, sandwitch shops etc.
I see nothing wrong with strippers or strip clubs for other people, but not for me or FI. We just aren't interested, and I personally don't want some other woman dancing right there in front of him taking her clothes off, waving it all in his face. I see porn as different because it isn't in person, it isn't live, he isn't paying for all these things to happen.
It is good to hear from someone who works in the business, to learn the other side.
I don't have anything against strippers, it's just a job. I think that the bachelor party situation just brings up a lot of emotions for a few women. Unfortunately, it only takes one bad apple to ruin it for the rest of the strippers. I've actually had a few stripper friends, and ironically, they're all into other girls.
@shewolf: I feel exactly the same way that you do. I dont have the balls to do it, but wouldn't mind trying it out sometime. I have actually went to strip clubs with former boyfriends on a few occassions just for a night out. It was fun and I never felt uncomfortable.
@Lovemelovemyhorses: Im a cliche story. Im 19, on my own and need a way to get through school. And i make a hell of a lot of money for someone my age.
I appreciate all the non-judgement guys! Its comforting to know not everyone is disgusted by me. I respect anyone not comfortable with the whole thing. I know its not moral, im degrading myself, and all that but for me its temporary, just a way to get by. It's by no means enjoyable.
And yes housebee, so often girls end up gay. Unfortunately, this business does embed resentment towards men.
@damon1: Keep your head up, you're doing what works for you. From one of the greatest:
"Some people say what I do isn't very liberating. I say it's pretty liberating to get $20,000 for 10 minutes work."
--DITA VON TEESE
@damon1: Nobody should be disgusted by you, that's sad to think. It's your job and nothing to be ashamed of; not immoral or degrading.
You're working your way through school like anyone else. Keep your head held high and realize that most women who have a problem with it, have a problem with how their men behave with regard to strippers and not with the stripper herself. You're doing what you're paid to do. Honestly, I once contemplated doing it myself, when I was younger, for the money, and because of my dance and fitness background. No judgment here.
You should read this thread (and several others like them)
@mchitt329: Just read it. I think the general consensus is that if you really have a serious problem with it, the root issue is trust. If your and your guy have a healthy and open relationship, it shouldn't be a big deal.
@damon1: Hi! Please count me among your allies if you choose to post here. I have nothing against strippers or stripclubs. I don't get most of the ladies' attitudes on here. You guys are doing a job. You're not doing anything wrong, there is no emotional connection and there isn't any cheating. At worst, the guy gets a hard on as you dance on/around it. But at the end of the day, he's just another guy whose face blends into the next.
I think a lot of the problems people on here (and in general) that girls have with strippers is trust and competition. They think that a hotter woman will steal their man away and they don't trust their man to not stray.
I don't have a problem with strippers... I don't care if FI has them at his bach party.
I think a lot of women that do have problems with them, stem from self esteem, trust and other sorts of issues. (Not saying that is everyone... just saying in general as to what I have seen/heard.)
@damon1: Everyone has to do what they have to do in order to survive. I personally would never show my body to anyone except my FI but that is just me. As for hiring strippers for his "last hoorah" he and I both agree that it is extremely inappropriate because our entire wedding is based on our love for each other and wanting to be with ONLY each other. In that case it is inappropriate for a groom or bride to have at their party. I don't have a problem with him going to a strip club, that isn't the isssue. Just not when we are celebrating our impending marriage lol.
@damon1: Let me start by saying I have no issue with strippers or strip clubs and I actually have a lot of respect for what you do. I've gone to strip clubs with my boyfriend and it's actually pretty fun, although I've never gotten a lap dance or anything, and have never watched my BF get one. I know that most strippers see their clients as a dollar sign and that's about it... The strippers aren't trying to steal anyone's man. That being said, I've also been to a private party that had two strippers (it was a co-ed birthday party). I can say from personal experience that they are VERY DIFFERENT from strip clubs.
I have no issues with my boyfriend going to strip clubs but I would be very uncomfortable if he went to a private party, ESPECIALLY if he was the bachelor. Maybe this varies from state to state, but at the private party I went to, one of the strippers laid down on the floor (naked), sprayed canned whip cream all over her vajay, placed sliced strawberries on top and had the birthday boy lick it off of/out of her (sorry to be graphic). His girlfriend was in the room and was so upset that she stormed out. That was in 2004 and I still remember it in clear detail, that's how shocked I was!! It's not at all what I expected. So that is my experience with private parties. I know it's all in "good fun" and I'm sure the stripper didn't get any enjoyment out of that, but the thought of MY boyfriend doing anything like that with someone else makes my heart hurt!
OP, you said "When I do private parties, they are fun and CLEAN, and entail nothing that one's significant other couldn't see." So I'm wondering if maybe parties like the one I've been to aren't the norm?
Also, I know worse things happen in VIP rooms, which I've never been in so I can't speak to that. I also know each stripper is an individual who sets her own limits on what she will or will not do (regardless of the club rules). As long as you are true to yourself and respect yourself while you're working, don't let the negative things people say bring you down. You're right that strippers are "stereotyped", but try not to take other's comments personally. They don't know the real you!
I think the issue brides have isn't with the strippers themselves, but the fact that their men would think it's OK to blatently party with semi-naked women. For some ladies it's disrespectful and even cheating. In the heat of the moment, people are not as elequent as they are normally.
We read less of this: " He broke my trust by disrespecting our relationship's boundries. I don't care who ordered strippers, he should have been man enough to say no out of respect for us. I'm hurt and disapointed, If he broke one rule, what else has he done, or is willing to do? How can I trust he'll be faithful"
And we read more of stuff like this: " He and his friends ordered strippers and lied to my face! He got lap dances and they were topless! I can't believe him! UGH I can't even think! The thought of those slutty women on him is horrible"
But the 2nd paragraph would be written by someone who's still raw and emotional. I'd say what really is meant is what's written in paragragh one
Point: don't take it personaly and rememeber:
@damon1: I'm really curious about one thing: what kind of security do you have when you do private parties? I can't imagine anything more scary than to take my clothes off for a group of drunk, horny men in a private residence.
Do the guys get grabby? Do they think you're up for sex? I know from a law enforcement perspective how group mentality can get out of hand, especially when drink and the whiff of sex are involved. So I'm just wondering what precautions you take, do you have someone with you?
@Tibbs: Oh my gosh yes, I always have someone with me. A bouncer with the company i work for always accompanies me, and most of the time I do parties with another girl. Nothing bad has ever happened, and I find that guys at private parties are more respectful and nice than at a club, but i would never go alone. Also, as an extra precaution, I text my best friend the addresses that im at, just in case, so someone always knows where I am .
If you feel like you need to justify your career choice to a bunch of strangers on an message board, then YOU are the one who is insecure.
My fiance has seen nude woman before me, and while we've been together. He and I are both artists (amateur), so we see nude figure models in drawing classes. I see no difference between a figure model and a stripper, exotic dancer, burlesque performer, etc. in terms of nudity.
I trust him completely, so I'm not worried about him checking out naked chicks. He's going to do it either way, but I also know he loves me. Personally, I'd have more of a problem if he started objectifying them to the point that some people do. He worked as a bouncer overseas when he was younger, though. He got to know a lot of the girls, so I have no fear of that.
Good for you. I don't think anyone has a right to judge you or look down on you. I do understand womens' frustraton when their fiance lies to them, but too often it becomes a stripper bashing thread. You keep doing what you are doing and feel no shame in it at all. You're just as good as any of the women here.
Sorry, but I don't think there is a "clean", dignified way to sell your body for money.
@LR2012: Or maybe she was trying to put minds at ease. Or maybe she's tired of seeing people go on about how strippes are gold digging whores and she wanted to defend her profession.
I think the post is relevant because the topic comes up so much here.
@HeathenSwan: Yikes. Ya I wasnt really trying to justify myself. My original post was just to clear up some misconceptions, and yes, maybe put some peoples' minds at ease. Although this is looking futile... Girls are mean!
@damon1: I really feel like you could have gotten your point across and truly just been trying to share your side of it until your post script remark
"PS- it looks like most of the negative posts are from women, who are naturally going to be opposed to a random woman getting naked for their man."
That whole sentence is just asking for trouble.
I do disagree with your statement that many dancers are really just dancers, I've seen many that would not hesitate to do a little extra for some extra $$$. While it's great that you and your friends are not one of those girls, there are many girls out there that do these things, which is why the stereotype exists.
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