- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Okay, I have your attention! I know this topic has probably been done to death, but I want an opinion on this particular situation.
Another set of close friends is getting married this year around the same time as my Fiance and I are. Fiance originally said he wanted to do a more laidback bachelor party, like renting a cabin with a hot tub and just hanging out and drinking with the guys, which sounded great to me. No need to worry about the famed bachelor party shenanigans, just a cool guys night.
Now the other guy who’s getting married wants to do a joint bachelor party with Fiance in Vegas. The other guy who’s getting married is also a pretty big fan of strip clubs. I asked another mutual guy friend who is in both weddings what they were planning for this bachelor party, and he was like, “I can’t tell you.” (!)
Needless to say, this pissed me off, a lot (Sorry, groomsman, but you want to tell me that I’m not allowed to know what happens at my FI’s bachelor party? Um, who the hell do you think you are?), and aside from the stupid comment from that groomsman, I am not really at all comfortable with strippers being all up on my Fiance anyway. I talked to Fiance about this, and he was like, Well, it’s the same as nudity in a movie. Uh, no it isn’t. A person on your TV screen is not going to be touching you or rubbing her boobs in your face and her crotch on your lap. So Fiance says, “well, I’ll just sit in the back, away from the stage, and I won’t get any lap dances.” Riiiight, those guys are going to let you do that. I’d be willing to bet that at least one of the guys there will buy him a lap dance, and then taunt him relentlessly if he won’t take it.
So, I told Fiance that he was an adult, and he could make his own decisions. It’s not like I won’t want to marry him anymore if he goes. But, I said, this is going to hurt me if you do this. I will be jealous, I will feel hurt, and frankly, I will not want to have sex with you for quite awhile after this (sorry, but the image of another woman’s breasts and crotch all over you does not turn me on).
Would you consider what I said to Fiance to be wrong, or some sort of ultimatum? I didn’t; to me, I was just telling him the truth about how that would make me feel, and allowing him to make his own decision about whether or not he wanted to make me feel that way.