Post # 1
Hello all, I need some advice! So, I will give you all a little bit of the back story first. Boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years, and talk a lot about engagement/future together (babies, houses, plans, etc). We had a rough patch last year and broke up for about 2 weeks. I was absolutely DEVESTATED and went home to my parents house in deep depression. I complained about everything to my parents (the little things that only you get in a relationship that when you try to explain just come out sounding stupid). I complained about him, b/c I was pissed. Well lo and behold, we got back together and have been doing fabulous ever since. So things have been okay between my parents and bf up until today. My parents were informing me this morning at brunch with the bf that my dog that I have had forever, is slowing dying. So I started crying like any sensitive female would. So anyways I went to get a tissue…and decided it was time to get my mom’s presents together. So I went out of the room, forgot something so I ran back in the room, and then turned right around and left to get the stuff ready. So bf, being a dork and trying to cheer me up said "see you later!" and laughed (told you, dork). So I guess what happend was my dad turned to him, and with a complete hate face said "what is so funny"? just staring at him. Dad then ignored him and it was silent until I came back in. Dad is very tough and intimidating. So very long story, not so short, my bf felt so upset and uncomfortable he left. He is mad at my dad, doesn’t think he treated him fairly, and is wondering how he is ever going to talk to him about asking me to marry him. I thought bf was finially getting close to asking but now I don’t know! Any advice?! Sorry this was so long.
Post # 3
Well, the short answer is that there’s nothing you can really do. Your boyfriend needs to be man enough to develop his own relationship with your dad, and convince him that he’s generally a good guy who is worthy of your dad’s little girl. Your dad feels protective, which is understandable. Your dad doesn’t like to see you cry. Your boyfriend probably doesn’t like to see you cry either, but responding (in front of your dad!) by laughing and making jokes is never going to impress your folks. That’s pretty much common sense. It’s nothing that your boyfriend can reasonably be mad about – if he loves you, he should completely understand it.
So – your boyfriend needs to get off his high horse, and try hard to make nice with your dad. And after enough of that, your dad will hopefully see that he’s a pretty good guy, and will come around. And frankly, if your boyfriend isn’t willing to put in the time it takes for your dad to really get to know him, then he’s not really mature enough to marry. I know that’s harsh, but it’s the truth. We’re not talking about taking you to the prom here, we’re talking about the rest of of your life. Your folks deserve his respect. Him getting pissed and walking out, and now being mad – over a situation where it certainly seems like he was a jerk – is not that mature. Probably an apology to your dad for treating your poorly when you were upset would go a long way.
In the meantime, you have also learned a little lesson – which is what your girlfriends are for. Namely, to b*tch about your boyfriend, if you have to. Of course your parents are a little leary of him – they had to listen to two weeks of what a jerk he was and how bad he treated you and how miserable he made you. If you were them, how would you feel?
Anyway, best of luck. It’s probably not what you wanted to hear. Relationships with in-laws are always potentially touchy. That’s why you really need someone who is willing to try hard to get along with your family – rather than someone who is always going to put you in the position of defending him or mediating for him. You don’t want to spend the next 30 years in between your dad and your husband – so try hard not to get into that position in the first place.
Post # 4
love the post im dealing with the same almost. My dad really doesn’t like my boyfriend well as of now fiance he didnt ask him for permission because he knew he would say no besides they havent spoke in over 5 months! Now my dad feels disrespected and will NOT be apart of my wedding. Im seriously broken i feel now that I have to chose between my father and my fiance any suggestions? Please Help
Post # 5
@ladybree91: Hi! This post is **three years old** so I’d suggest making your own post for your issue if you want advice (otherwise people respond here to the OP who has presumably long since moved on).