Post # 1
I’ve been struggling lately with the image I think I had with my husband and the man I’m learning he is. I know you can not love someone for their potential but I find myself wanting him to be a better man. Any advice??
Also, every little thing he does lately is bugging me! How can I be less bitchy and more loving.
Post # 3
@SLChoneybee: Hm, I go through phases like this where my DH just bugs me! Usually it passes and I realize that I was the one who needed to change. If there are red flag issues going on then you shouldn’t put up with it (i.e. abuse). However, if he is getting on your nerves just by being him then something is probably wrong with you. I think it is normal for us to go through periods when we can only see our partners flaws but during those moments it is best to remember that WE are not perfect 🙂
Hope that helps!
Post # 4
This is vague.
How long have you been together?
How is he changing?
How was her before?
What do you consider a “better man?”
Are you falling out of love with him?
Post # 5
Welcome to the Bee! This is a great place for advice (I am assuming you are new.)
I feel like you are talking about two different things:
1. Dh driving you up the wall just from living together, life stress, “why the heck won’t he put the toothpaste away when he is done using it?!?!?!”
2. Wanting your DH to be a better man. That’s much more serious and less about the trivial, day-to-day.
Can you be more specific about what he is doing to make you dissapointed in his character?
(FWIW, you might get more appropriate responses in the relationship or emotional section since this one is for bedroom stuff. ;))
EDIT: To add that perhaps her views of him are changing due to intimacy issues.
Post # 6
@SLChoneybee: I agree with the PP. however also keep in mind that you should not go into things with the idea of wanting to change someone because it never works out (not saying you want to change him)
I get annoyed with my SO (we arent engaged, but Ive known him almost 7 years, been together almost 3) sometimes and its just that. its a natural thing, sometimes we all get irritable and small things end up bugging us, its perfectly normal.
whenever he is bugging you try to honestly ask yourself if what he is doing bugging you because he is doing it (not really the action itself), or is it what he is doing (you get annoyed whenever other people do the same thing). if the answer is neither then its probably you just being “bitchy” as you stated. as long as this doesnt occur ALL THE TIME then I think its okay, if it does, then there is probably some underlyin issue you need to figure out.