(Closed) Struggling and Hurt-2nd Chances

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

He lied to you. And no, friends don’t ignore each other in a social situation if they are just friends. I would move on. I’m sorry.

ETA – the contents of those texts are not “friendly”, they are flirtatious and romantic. I don’t think I could ever trust him again.

Post # 4
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Tell me why, if you have already had all of these problems with him, you would want to continue down that road? Things that are so obvious from the outside are more difficult to see while you’re “in love,” I know. But this is just blatant and obvious in so many ways that you need to move on. He sucks you back in, maybe out of comfort maybe because he really cares, but it’s clear that things aren’t working if “other reasons” are pointing to the clearest reason…. that he was having (at minimum) an emotional affair behind your back. That would be enough for me.

Post # 5
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Do you have any proof that it was anything more than friendship? I would come clean about the “I miss you” texts that you saw

Post # 6
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@EsqBailey: THIS

OP, don’t go back to him. I know its hard to move on, but its best for you. You deserve someone far better than him

Post # 8
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Rileys Mom: Did he admit, then, that he was lieing to you? Were the emails just as suspicious?

(For the record, you suspected him and snooped. I would have, also, with his blessing or not. Now you have the proof you need to make an informed decision rather than just trusting him when he says they were just friends; when obviously, they were NOT just friends.)

Post # 10
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Do you want a relationship where you feel compelled to snoop?

Does it matter whether he admits it if you know it and don’t trust him?

He didn’t want to move forward with you before, but now that he has been “caught” he does?  That doesn’t make sense to me.  If he doesn’t want to move forward, he just wants you back, then you would be changing your mind regarding moving forward/engagement for a man that rebounded VERY/TOO quickly when you broke up and a man you don’t exactly trust.  


Post # 11
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Rileys Mom: This is the part I don’t understand. Men who need to find another woman as an “outlet”. If he truly loves you, he will confide in you. Even if that means he tells you something that you don’t want to hear like “I’m feeling confused about our relationship”. It’s a cop out excuse and I hate it. At 31, he should know something about treating someone with respect.

And why would he “lead her on”, then? In that case, he has no respect for any woman, period.

ANd calling her “beautiful” sure sounds to me like he wanted something from her in trade for those compliments, if you know what I mean.

If she shot him down and he ran back to you, I would slam the door on his face.

I’m sorry for the tough love but he shouldn’t be annoyed with you, he should bend over backwards to prove to you he loves you and wants to be with you. Men who get “annoyed” just know they are guilty and sick of trying to fix it because the woman is smarter than he is so they are trying to turn the tables and make you seem like an annoyance. Hugs to you.

Post # 13
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

At the very least, he was emotionally involved with this woman. All the calls and texts prove this. Whether or not he was physically cheating, who knows? I suspect so, but again, unless he confesses we won’t know. Honestly, I’d kick him to the curb. He lied to you many times and refuses to confess, even when confronted with the evidence. I don’t care how tough things were at home. That is not an excuse to call/text another woman. It’s just not.

Post # 15
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Seems like if you give this man an inch he takes a mile.

Calling another woman while taking the dog out for a walk is not only a really low blow but extremely pre-mediated, in the sense that he took advantage of the situation knowing he would be alone and free.

Do yourself a favor and don’t fall into his emotional advances, I think you will have an extremely hard time trusting this man and considering how far he took it with another woman its not a good sign. 

I know there are other Bees whom have grown from infidelity and stuck together, and they may be able to offer some awesome advice should you really feel you want to work it out!

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