- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
How do you forgive your grandparents for missing one of the most important days of your life, your wedding day? It’s been five months since my wedding, and I’m still struggling with that question.
Here’s the background of it: My cousin had a baby while she was in med school. Because she was too busy with med school to raise the kid herself, her parents are basically raising him themselves. She’s now doing her residency at a hospital close enough to her parents that she can take care of him when she has time off, but her parents still watch him the majority of the time. My uncle had a high school reunion the same day as my wedding, so he and my aunt RSVP’d no, and my cousin had to work that day, so she RSVP’d no as well. However, instead of my aunt staying back from my uncle’s reunion to watch the kid, they asked my grandparents to watch him.
Granted, at the time that they asked, they hadn’t recieved the save-the-date or invitation for the wedding yet, but, once they found out, they didn’t attempt to make any other arrangements so my grandparents could be at my wedding. My grandma called me a couple of weeks after they received my invitation to let me know that they couldn’t attend my wedding because they’d be watching my cousin’s kid. Thankfully, I wasn’t able to answer and she had to leave a message, because I was absolutely devestated, and furious.
I was (and still am) mad at my grandparents for chosing their great-grandson over their grandaughter’s wedding, at my aunt and uncle for not making other arrangements, not leaving it up to their daughter to find a babysitter for her son, and for my aunt not staying abck from the reunion to watch him, and mad at my cousin for getting knocked up in the middle of med school and being unable to raise her own child (unfair, I know), and for not trying to make other arrangements.
Am I being selfish for being mad? I can’t help it, as I feel like they chose my cousin’s son over me on the most important day of my life. Because of this, I’ve not seen or spoken to my grandparents, aunt and uncle, or cousin since I received the news. I know that my wedding was five months ago, but it still hurts. It would be one thing if my grandparents couldn’t make it because of health reason, but that was not the case. How do I forgive them and move past this? I keep trying, but it just hurts so much.