Post # 1
We’re having a small beach wedding on the beautiful white sand of Destin, FL on April 23,2011. My FI has always wanted a beach wedding, and I’m a beach baby, so it wasn’t hard to convince me. We were going to choose May, but we could not find any dates where our planner, photographer and venue all had open unless it was April 23, or sometime in June. We went with April since anything later than May could be too hot.
Well… my last wedding was a Florida beach wedding in April.
I didn’t even really think about any of the similarities until my immediate and extended family mentioned things like “…another April beach wedding??”. And then my mother thought it was hilarious that this one falls on Easter weekend again (we honestly didn’t think about it because we thought 4/23 was too late in the year for Easter). So now, I’m starting to scrutinize ever aspect of the wedding to find ways to make this wedding different in some way, so I don’t have to hear family compare this one to my last one. And I’m honestly driving myself and my fiance crazy.
I just want everyone there to focus on the two of us, committing our lives to each other, and to share in our joy that we have finally found our soulmate – NOT make references to my last wedding.
Has any other encore bride struggled with this??
Post # 3
Hi date twin 🙂
It is my FI’s second but my first….I am having similar issues with things such as flowers, my hair, my dress, honeymoon, music, etc. I have heard “that is similar to —‘s first wedding” quite a few times and it makes me crazy. I don’t think people should compare but it is just something that is impossible to get away from. I am even guilty myself because I am doing things differently than I would have if there wasn’t the comparison. In the back of my head everything has to be “better”.
Post # 4
@Eca813: Awww – I’m sorry to hear that. I think it would be even harder in your position, since this is your first time. I can only imagine! I know I can’t really say anything, but I just want to let you know that you should definitely do what you want to do, even if it might have been something similar to what was done before. This is your wedding – and I really hope the best for you!!
Post # 5
Ohhhhhhh my goodness I can totally relate. My first wedding was on the beach in Jamaica. Like you, at first I was so adament about trying to make this one different. And I did get alot of “wasn’t that what you did last time?” comments. I even got a “isn’t it a bad OMEN to get married on the beach in Jamaica again after a failed marriage”? YIKES!!! After going around in circles I just decided to do this again. My first wedding was a DREAM wedding, very economical, honeymoon started immediately after, all that. It was never the WEDDING last time. It was the MARRIAGE that was a mess!!
Post # 6
There were elements that were the same between my first and second wedding: it was in a synagogue, the reception was a luncheon in a restaurant. However, with the two weddings over 30 years apart, people really weren’t commenting.
Post # 7
I think the answer is right in your post: “My FI has always wanted a beach wedding, and I’m a beach baby.” Next time someone questions you about it, just say THAT! No apologies or further explanation needed.
Also, I do think you can make this wedding very different, even if the setting is similar. There are so many new and creative ideas for making your wedding unique and putting new twists on old traditions. Think of it as an opportunity to get creative and have fun with it! I just got married on the beach three weeks ago… here are a few of the twists I incorporated:
– Informal standing ceremony (only a couple of reserved chairs for elderly guests)
– Wedding party was made up of children (nieces and nephews, all under 12)
– The girls carried bright paper parasols instead of bouquets – made for great photos!
– Instead of a flower girl and ring bearer, we had a “ring princess” – she carried a wand with a starfish at the end and we tied the rings to the ribbons
– We had our first dance right at the end of the ceremony (after the kiss), as the sun was setting behind us
– To open up the dancing, we did a sparkler dance – guests surrounded us with sparklers while we did a second “first dance” (reception was also on the beach)
Here are a few photos…
Post # 8
@NotYourTypicalBride:Wow…great pics and great ideas! Thanks for sharing!!!
Post # 9
@NotYourTypicalBride: Oh wow – I love those ideas!! Thank you so much for sharing 🙂 Those are just the things I needed to get my mind off of making everything different, and focus on just making this one ours.