- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Hey Bees. It’s a long story but I will try to keep it to the basics..
* I am getting a doctorate in Clinical Psychology.
* I did original research and it was fantastic and fun. A pilot program with kids with autism and their families.
* Then my advisor passed away. She had been my supersvisor, teacher, boss, and friend. We worked together for 4 years, even before she was a professor at my school. It was awful…
* I then got a new advisor. She has not been very supportive for a few reasons we don’t need to go fully into but suffice to say she failed me for not being in enough contact with her which resulted in my getting referred to the disciplinary board and having to fight to stay in the program. Then at the end of the meeting she insulted my marriage and questioned why I am getting married. I am undocumented and she asked if I was getting married just to fix it. Please note, I am almost 30, if I wanted to do that I would have done it A LONG TIME AGO. Also, my husband and I were together 3 years before he proposed. She asked THREE times! Then asked again in a roundabout way questioning how I met him… SO insutlting.
* Since our meeting I have contacted her and she rarely replies. For example, I sent her 5 emails from mid november to february. No response. Ironic considering that she failed me for not emailing her. Now she ignores emails though I need her response to move on to next steps.
* I asked my friends who also are getting doctorates how they proceeded with their dissertations and how much communication they had with their advisors before submitting the whole thing and voiced my concerns about how my chair has been. Note: I do not often talk about with them, but we all sometimes talk about our own and each others dissertations/work. This turned into one of them calling me mid group text and telling me that I am just making excuses to not finish it…. That I just need to get it done…. then she stopped talking but didn’t hang up and basically ignored me. I then hung up and texted her saying it seems the line got disconnected and thanked her for her call.. BTW, she finished hers a year late too….
* My friends and my husband are frustrated with me. Im frustrated with me. For a long time I wasn’t working on it. I’ll admit it. BUT I AM NOW! I have been since my meeting with the disciplanary board. I am making progress! I am not making excuses but feel I have valid concerns. I am working on it and I feel so hurt and discouraged by the fact that no one believes in me anymore… I know I deserved it and am afraid of the answers I might get here on the Hive insinuating as much, but hope that maybe someone will have some words of support???
1. How do I deal with people’s unsolicited reprimands about my dissertation? I mean, I’m working on it but people still feel the need to tell me that I am not working on it…
2. I have a record next to my desk of the hours I work on it and what I worked on. I meet weekly with a colleage to work together and hold each other accountable, but it’s not like I need to report to my husband and every one of my friends
3. How do I deal with the fact that no one believes in me anymore, now that I am working and could use some support…
Please be kind bees? I am writing from a pretty upset place…
ETA: Do I address the fact that my friend basically left me hanging on the phone??