Stuck between a rock and a hard place.. (long story)

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Tell his sister what I told yall?
    Yes : (12 votes)
    63 %
    No : (7 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    757 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Was your FSIL told that the friend had to be someone very close with the family/someone who should be present at your marriage? If she was, it sounds like she completely ignored the request- in which case you completely have the right to say that this person is not invited, and you’ve found someone to fill the room.  I think you should tell her, it’s your wedding – not her “girl’s vacation”.

    Post # 5
    Member
    757 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @maypearl:  ugh boys! I would still explain it to her- she should understand; this is not some random family vacation that had an open spot.  

    Post # 6
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I’m not understanding why you guys asked the sister to bring someone in the first place. If you asked your mother to find someone to share HER room that should have been the end of it. There’s no way out of this situation without hurting someones feelings. Too many people were asked. IMO you need to just tell the sister “I’m sorry for the confusion but my mother had originally asked a close family friend to split the room with her. I should have spoken with her before asking you about bringing a friend. Unfortunately we won’t be able to pay for your friend.” Then drop it. If the sister wants the friend there so badly she can pay for her ticket. Don’t go into a long drawn out arguement and bring up anyone’s financials. If the sister then decides not to come due to this then have his mother bring someone else she’s comfortable with. But don’t ask anymore people.

    Post # 7
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Another option, since it’s horribly rude to uninvite someone is to ask his mother to find someone else to room with and that way everyone has someone. Since it sounds like you’re not worried about ruining any relationship with the sister’s bff go ahead and uninvite, but be prepared for the sister to throw a fit and not come.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6507 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If you’re not paying for the friend I’m not sure there is much you can do. The cruise is not your wedding so you don’t get to dictate who is on the cruise.

    Unless you are absolutely sure that your OH made it clear that the friend should be a close family friend than I also think it’s unfair to tell her that she needs to now be uninvited. She was not given that information and found a friend like she was told to do. 

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    502 posts
    Busy bee

    You can say whatever you like, but you will be stepping on toes. Especially with what you’ve provided as an option to say if she disagrees. You can’t take something like that back (i.e. she will forever now see herself in your debt, as you’re making it clear that she owes you even though you haven’t mentioned it before). Your FI made a commitment on your behalf, and you can follow through or break it. Welcome to marriage! Hahaha.

    Post # 12
    Member
    53 posts
    Worker bee

    I gave my mom specifics of who was allowed to come and my other half did not provide his sister with specifics.

    Post # 13
    Member
    370 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Yes, tell his sister what you wrote above but I’d probably err on the side of caution and pick my words more carefully! I’d also get your FI to speak to his sister or do it with him.

    Hope you have a lovely wedding!

     

    Leave a comment


    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors