- mrs comet
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
my wedding is about a year away and i have started thinking about bridesmaids. i really want my girls on board now so i can have help from the start and also to bond with them i have 3 in mind 2 are my best friends and the third girl is sort of related (like a cousin) but lives far away from me (and isnt in question for any of this post). my 2 best friends dont really know each other except through me and never bothered to know each other. i havent ask any of them yet but the 2 best friends have pretty much known since we were all kids.
for the past 2 years my best friends paths have crossed in the worst spots and its been a bumpy ride since. both cant stand one another. at one point the one had the others back by warning her the guy she was seeing was a creep but the situation turned on her. and then the other one heard a rumor ( that was really a lie) about the others boyfriend and stirred up trouble by telling other people who didnt need to get involved instead of going to her or letting me go to her since i was closer to her and her boyfriend in question. and it got bad. her life was turned upside down cause of it. i dont know if in that case it was to be harmful or if there were better intentions… but it did turn out bad.
i have talked to them both and actually i thought the one who i thought would take it better is the one who is stressing and freaking out. she says she want to be there so bad but wont be able to enjoy this time in my life with her around and wants an apology from the other. and the other is willing to keep her mouth shut but i havent heard word on any apology. if i had my choice i would ask the one whos freaking out cause shes never started anything and has only tried to be nice. the other is the one who lights fires and spreads rumors (other occasions as well)…but shes being semi cooperative. so having talks (as many have advised me so far) is only going so far with these 2. i asked mr comet what he thought and also what my mom thought and they both say the trouble maker needs to go and not cause my other friend (or me) anymore stress. but with her being semi ok…its hard now to tell her no.
i hate being stuck in the middle and i feel like i shouldnt have to be playing peacemaker or be the rope in a tug of war as to what side to take. after mr comet and family they are the next 2 people i want there no matter what. i have even thought to offer, so i can have them both as bridesmaids, to keep them apart for the whole process (dress shopping, picking out favors, making center pieces with each one on their own time) until they have to stand for me at the ceremony. but i can see this conflicting with schedules and taking twice the time to do anything…also makes room for more tug of war (why did you spend more time with her kind of thing). anyone out there have any other solutions as to keep these 2 in the wedding party peacefully? anyone having a similar situation? or do i have to make some hard choices? please help! ive been really upset over all of this. im loosing sleep over all of it 🙁 and im about to say no bridesmaids but i dont think i can do that….it would hurt to do that. its either one the other or both cause i cant go without them.