jade green - love the dress but not thrilled with groomsmen attire choices
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stuck on formal

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
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    pattidus      

    hi, so our whole wedding planning process started pretty rushed. there was pressure to have it this year ... ideally i would have liked us to have time to think over things. you only get married once right?

    anyhoo, life goes on. it is what it is. so we made a couple pretty important decisions at the beginning without having a clear picture/vision of what we wanted this wedding to be like. i was looking through the inspiration boards just now and feeling kind of sad b/c the wedding that i now realize i really would have loved (rustic, down-to-earth, playful, handmade) doesn't really seem possible b/c the venue that we picked is pretty traditional and the dress that i picked is pretty formal. 

    this is example of what i like: http://gallery.weddingbee.com/photo/cowboy-take-me-away

    example of what our venue looks like (attached) -- it's really nice it's just not really where i would envision my wedding to be.

    I guess  I should also add that there has been some parental pressure in all the decisions that have been made; they're paying for the wedding. I'm not sure my parents get the idea of a fun, playful wedding so anytime I suggest something different/creative they think I'm a little crazy. They totally mean well and we are so grateful for their help, but this wedding is totally lacking my fiance's and my personal touch.

    So wedding is 3 months away and we still have a lot to do. I guess I'm looking for advice on how to handle the remaining decisions ... invitations, party favors, table decor, flowers, etc. Should I go with what I like and risk it not matching the tone of the venue/dress, or should I be consistent and follow through with the style of wedding that previous decisions have dictated?

    Thanks in advance :)

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    kdlowery    6/5/2010   Joplin

    I say get what you like.  It is YOUR wedding.  We are having a mixed weddingish theme... There really isnt a theme, except it is what we like, thats all.  Our venue is beautiful and formal and my dress is makes me feel like a princess, but we are having bbq for our reception(same place) and our centerpieces are going to have goldfish in them...not so fancy there...

    I think it can all work and will make people feel more relaxed if you are relaxed and comfortable.  Like I said, it is your day, make it your day.

     
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    pren79    10/17/09   SF Bay Area

    I think you can go with whatever you like for the remaining decisions. Simply see ur venue as a blank slate that will eventually receive the decor of ur choice. U may see it as formal now based on the pics of the venue fully decorated, but without any decor (no centerpieces or other decor) u may find that the venue can easily accomodate whatever u have in mind. I would say ur venue actually seems quite flexible.

    As for the formality of dress, it's not such a big deal. Bride's dress does not dictate the formality or the cohesiveness of the wedding that much. I believe that the bride's dress can be as different and as prominent on one end of the spectrum or exactly in the same tone as wedding decor on the other end of the spectrum. It's the bride's special day; she can wear whatever she wants!

     
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    Tanya123      

    Does your venue givethe option of having the reception outdoors?  that might help to feel rustic.  Also, I think if you take away the grand floral centerpieces, you can get the rustic feel, you're looking for by having branches etc as centerpieces.

    Also, how much money would you be out if you got a different location?  What if you could find a new location, cheap enough, compared to your current location, that would make up for the deposit you'd lose?  Is it possible to put your deposit at your current location towards having a shower or rehearsal dinner there instead?

     
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    Sugar bee
    Jenniphyr    February 2, 2013   Alberta, Canada

    I agree that you can definitely do a mixed-themed wedding. =) I'm trying to do one myself. I lean towards the more rustic, natural, casual stuff (cupcakes! buffet sandwich bar! no suits!) and my fiance tends to like more of the elegant things. That said, I really do LOVE the look of elegance. =) It's just not me, so much. It's my fairy-tale wedding, but it's not ME, or us, for that matter. So we're compromising. We're definitely having cupcakes and a make-your-own sandwich buffet with coolers full of chilled drinks, but he's allowed to change the look of things to make things more elegant however he wants. Cupcaketree that he can create a beautiful damask design on? Swirly icing and little flags for easy identification? A small layer cake on top (complete with a cake topper) that we'll cut into for the sake of tradition? Check check and check. Elegant DIY platters for the meats/cheeses/vegetables? Beautiful baskets for the bread? Decorated bowls for dips and spreads? Check! And finally, customized labels for the drinks? Check indeed!

    We're also probably going to go for a more "elegant-looking" invitation design, our gazebo will be decorated somehow (flowers and tulle? here I come!), and we're debating DIY-ing chair covers for the picnic tables. Most importantly, though, we're not letting our differences or our venue hold us back from having the wedding that we want! =)

    If you want a rustic wedding, go for it! Have rustic centrepieces, menus, and scrap the chair sashes in the reception. Aim for a rustic-inspired meal. Your ceremony is outdoors, so you'll have a lot of opportunities there! =) Don't let your beautiful venue make you feel disappointed. Work with it, love it (because it IS beautiful!), and don't let it dictate what your wedding can and cannot have.

     
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    MissMelissaB    8/8/09   Temecula, CA

    Before I saw the picture, I envisioned that you had booked a grand ballroom.I think you've actually got a great venue for that look.  You can make that place look rustic.  I second what another poster said about seeing if you can have the reception outside, 

     
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    snmcdowell    9-13-08   Chicago

    I was also torn between two different wedding styles and ended up doing the super formal wedding. But I also kept all my rustic inspiration photos too. I plan on using them as inpiration for a number of spaces and events for years to come - garden parties, anniversary celebrations, and a lovely outdoor garden to enjoy all summer. Even if you can't use your ideas now you can always save them for another party. They would make cute little touches for a smaller event too! Imagine decorating a tiny balcony with all kinds of pretty lights and flowers and having a special intimate dinner for two...how fun!

     
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    pattidus      

    wow these are all great suggestions. i didn't even think to ask if the reception could be outdoors!!! also ... snmcdowell, what a great point about being able to use inspiration photos for lots of other stuff in the future. it's so easy to get caught up in planning this one single event ... you're absolutely right, we've got a lifetime of events to use those ideas.

    thank you so much. you guys have re-inspired me.

     

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