(Closed) student brides help?!!!

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I would wait until you are sure you can afford it. FI and I are getting married in my last year of college, but he will have graduated a while before then. Plus, we have worked all through college, so we have savings from that as well.

I would recommend that you guys try to get part-time jobs and take it from there. School and work can be done together if you manage your time well.

 Sorry if my answer isn’t very fun. It’s the best advice I can give.

Post # 4
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

FI and I have been together since freshmen year of college.  We talked marriage from year one but held off on it until now.  (We’ll be getting married on our 10 year anniversary. :D)  It was important for us to share this moment with our family and friends, however both FI and I come from not so well off families so we would be footing the bill for everything.  We wanted to be financially stable first and it took us longer than expected post college to get to that point but it’s okay because now we’re getting married and I think it was definitely worth the wait.  We finally get to share this special time with everyone and we won’t be suffering in debt.  If there’s no rush, I’d recommend waiting. 

Post # 5
Member
6125 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@sophiee:  When I was a student with a full time classes, I was working 30-35 hours a week.  It’s super hard, but I was able to have some income.  I think most students should work during college – it’s excellent lesson in how to manage your time. I heard on a radio show recently that student who work at least 20 hours a week on average have better grades than students who don’t work (probably the time management skills).

Is the government assistance FREE money?  Do you have to pay it back at all?

Do you have a rush to get married now?  Don’t let the extra assistance be a factor in deciding to get married now.

I am in the position to interview and hire new employees.  If I’m looking at a new graduate’s resume and they worked during school and had some experience versus no or very little experience, we normally prefer student who have held jobs.

Post # 7
Member
1967 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would hold off on getting married until you can support yourselves. 

Post # 8
Member
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Honestly? We are postponing the wedding until I’m done with school, working, and we have an apartment.

Post # 9
Member
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Definitely wait until you are financially independent (as in, your only source of income is not govt. loans, grants, etc) and established before getting married.  Sex is cool, but not worth starting off lives together with no jobs and loads of debt cool!

Post # 10
Member
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@GoldfishPie:  Sex is cool, but not worth starting off lives together with no jobs and loads of debt cool!

I had to LOL at this!

Post # 11
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

What state do you live in? I live in SoCal, and rent in very expenssive here. By the time FI and I get married I will still need 1 more year to graduate. My point with this is, if you live in a state where rent is not too bad, and you manage your time well you may be able to work something out. 

Some of the possibilities I can think of where a new place for both of you can cost you less are: Renting a room at a home (but there is the privacy isssue) you can also rent a studio instead of a 1 bedroom apartment, another thing you can do is put yourself on a low income housing program. There is a waiting list but when there’s an opening they’ll call you. The way it works is they’ll charge you depending on how much you both make together. 

 

It wil be hard to go to school and work, I’ve done it for 7 years since college. Which is why it has been taken me so long to graduate. It is duable you both would just need to be very discipline and careful with your money.

I really hope this helps. Best of Luck.

Post # 12
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We waited until after graduation…several years in fact.  I went back for my MSW but FI has a well-paying full-time job. 

We wouldn’t have done it during undergrad…too much stress.  School was def our priority back then.

Post # 13
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Sweet baby jesus, please don’t get married just so you’ll receive more financial aid. You also are not very well-versed in what your aid entitles. For starters, loans are not “government assistance”. They are loans. You pay them back. Further – if you get married you wont be able to live in the dorms right? And will need to get an apartment. Financial aid will not help you pay for an apartment. What most colleges do is decrease the amount of scholarship/grants you receive and instead increase the loan amount. Which means more money for you both to repay.

Post # 14
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

And ps why aren’t you both working? I always carried a full course load, worked, and interned. You should absolutely have a side job. It will help you save up money for an eventual wedding (and apartment).

Post # 15
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@sophiee:  I can understand your desire to get married now rather than wait. Clearly, it could benefit you. Working part-time will certainly help, and I think it is definitely possible. It will be very hard. To help with finances, you could do a very DIY sort of wedding where you personally put all of the decor together and make everything. 

I do have another suggestion, though. I know it could be met by some with hostility (it has previously), but I don’t see anything wrong with the idea. It is something that my FH and I plan on doing (for different reasons, though). We are both students right now, but he graduates soon. Still, we both don’t have much money at all, but we are unable to wait to get married for immigration reasons. So our plan is to have a legal marriage in the spring, then have the proper ceremony and reception with family and friends in a year or two after we’ve saved up some money. While it isn’t ideal, you may benefit from this approach, too. You’ll gain the benefits without the excess in cost. Then, you guys can focus your money towards paying rent and living while tucking a little away in savings for your big day. When you two are more financially capable, you can then have a wedding without the financial stress!

Post # 16
Member
6125 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@sophiee: 

“I would hold off on getting married until you can support yourselves.”

Sex is cool, but not worth starting off lives together with no jobs and loads of debt cool!

Ditto!

 

You mentioned getting more money and free money again.  I just don’t think it should be part of the equation at all when thinking of why to get married now.  It can be a bonus in hindsight, but it should not be on the list of reasons to get married and you said it twice in your two posts. 

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