Weddingbee boards

Posting under an anonymous name so as not to offend anyone who knows me IRL should they stumble across this...

Okay, so I was married about three months ago, and things have been going well, I'm happy to say.  Last night at work, I was talking to a co-worker who had gone to her cousin's wedding.  She mentioned it was the first time her boyfriend really got to meet the extended family and everyone really seemed to like him.  Her dad even made a point to include him in some of the family photos, which I thought was AWESOME.  But it brought up something from my own wedding day that I was pretty hurt by.

At the hotel after the wedding, my new husband mentioned taking some fun pictures outside, like where they were jumping, etc.  And I was like, "Um, where was I for this?"  Turns out his mom and aunts had gathered up the cousins, etc. on one side of the family and took them outside at the reception for a bunch of pictures, (taken by an aunt, NOT our photographer).  I was really hurt that I wasn't asked to be in any of them.  Granted, I did not expect nor want to be in every picture with him/his family, or want him to be in all of the pictures of my family.  But I felt pretty slighted that, on the day that I just became part of his family, I wasn't even asked to be in ANY of those shots.  I mean, how could my MIL not think to include me?  How could my new HUSBAND not think to include me?  On my own WEDDING DAY?  Our photographer was a family friend, and I know that had she taken the pictures, I wouldn't have been left out.

We talked about it that night, of course, and I thought I had let it go.  He did feel bad that it hadn't occurred to him to ask if I would like to be in some of the pictures.  But last night, when I discussed it with my friend, I was getting teary all over again.  It still stings.  Of course, my coworker and my mom were offended on my behalf, but they kind of have to be on my side!  Hehe.  I've always been emotional, it's not something I can really help, so of course I would be hurt by this. 

Mostly this is a venting session, but if anyone has any words of wisdom to help me actually put this behind me would be great.  I did NOT say anything to MIL about how I felt, and asked hubby to do the same that night.  I have also not discussed it with him since then.  Do I need to drag it back out in the open between us?  Mention something to MIL about how hurt I was/am?  I am leaning towards just keeping mum...I vented to a friend, to my mom, and now to some awesome Bees, so hopefully that will be enough.  But what do I say if MIL mentions it, which is bound to happen; since they were taken by aunt, we do not have copies of them and she mentioned last time we went over to their place that she was excited to get copies for herself.  Do I say something, ignore it, pretend to be excited when she shows us pictures I would rather not see at all?

Thanks Bees!  I will say that it didn't seem like a spur-of-the-moment thing from how my husband described it, (and yes, the SO's that were there were included; most of the cousins are too young to have them or didn't bring them).  They have a fairly large family and went around gathering up all kinds of cousins and waiting for others, so I guess that's another part of the reason I was so hurt.  I felt rather passed over.  BTW, this wasn't killing time before the ceremony either, it was at the reception.  I was looking for my groom, figured he was in the bathroom or something, and found out later where he'd really been.

There have been a couple other times when I was left out of family pictures, but wasn't really hurt by it because we weren't married yet, (although a couple months before the wedding I was left out of one I would really like to have been in, especially since, although we weren't married yet, we had been engaged since '07).  I guess in my family we do things differently, and we've always included him, so it seems weird/hurtful to not be included by his.  I'll just try to be a big girl and let it go.