(Closed) Stung on my wedding day (Not literally!)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

You say cousins, etc., but what do you mean by etc?  If it was just the actual cousins and not their spouses or significant others, it certainly wasn’t a slight to you.  Even if some spouses were included, you were probably pretty busy and they may have just been taking pictures more casually than it seems in hindsight.  You’re certainly not wrong to feel a bit put off by it if SOs were included, but it doesn’t seem worth making a deal over.  It’s not something that can be corrected or avoided in the future.  I could see it being a totally innocent thing on the part of your inlaws.  Hey, look at it this way, if this was the worst thing that happened on your wedding day, you made out pretty well!

Post # 4
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sorry this hurt your feelings. It doesn’t seem like anyone meant it as an intentional slight. They probably got caught up in the moment and just didn’t think. It was thoughtless, but I think you probably shouldn’t say anything. This is one of those suck it up for the sake of peace things. If you’ve talked about it with your husband, and he has apologized, I think you should probably drop it. 

Post # 5
Member
6598 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think it was just an spur of the moment type thing and you were probably having fun doing your thing!

I would try and focus on the positive things about your wedding and try and forget about it! 

Post # 6
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I really agree with the above poster who stated that the reason you were probably excluded was that your husband and new family thought you were too busy to be included in these pictures.  There is a lot of downtime before and after a wedding for a groom and the groom’s family, and it could be that someone just started taking pictures while they were killing time waiting for the ceremony to start.

 

If this is part of many incidents of you not being included or treated fairly, you can further discuss the issue with your husband.  But if your husband and his family were just killing time on your wedding day and they normally treat you well, I would try to let it go.

Post # 8
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Bee Sting, I wanted to clarify. It doesn’t sound like you are being silly or a baby at all for being upset. That was really thoughtless of them to exclude you, and take time away from your reception.  It is just, your relationship with these people is going to have a very long arch. If there isn’t something specific they can do that will make you feel better (and you mentioned an apology from your husband didn’t help) then it just isn’t worth it.

Congratulations on your wedding! I agree with previous posters that if this was the worst thing that happened, it must have been a great day! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I totally disagree with the other posters that say it was okay. I would feel the same way that you do. They take the groom out of the wedding reception to take pics without you when it’s a family thing? Even if you had only been included ina  couple of them it would be totally different. A big part of a wedding is the merging of two families so it would hurt me if the groom’s family snuck out to take pics without me. The fact that they just disappeared without a word to you catches me off guard too.

I would talk to your DH about it but I wouldn’t bring it up to the in laws unless they do something else to exclude you from family activities. You don’t have to be included in *everything* but you are a part of the family now.

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