(Closed) stupid but bothering me….uneven bridal party!!

posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: would u :
    think its fine, who cares : (73 votes)
    74 %
    wouldnt be happy about it but live with it : (10 votes)
    10 %
    wouldnt be happy about it and ask fiancee to choose 1 more person : (16 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    9 posts
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Well it’s easy when they walk down the aisle you could go the traditional route and have the groomsmen wait with the groom and bridesmaids walk down alone.  This is the traditional way and at the end when they walk out together I promise no one will notice the last bridesmaid being alone because they’re so into the bride and groom! Pictures? Well just mix is up! Have him pick one usher that won’t stand at the front of the church but can be in a few pictures. Then you get your even pictures and he can have some pictures that have only his close friends.

    But really, I know it’s hard and you want everything to be perfect but this is a small bump.  Let this one go, or ask if he can pick an Usher for a few pictures.  Don’t get too worked up because that is the last thing you’ll remember from your big day!

    Post # 4
    85 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I am normally very structured about these types of things too — I won’t get a wedding band because it will make my ring unbalanced LOL!

    But, I totally ended up going with an uneven wedding party. It will be 3 BMs, 4 to 6 GMs.  It just ….fit right  to me because of the people involved.  I have seen it many times now since I made the decision and now I am feeling better.   So it doesn’t “fit” with the numbers but it “fits” because it’s the right people, is how I view it. 

    My Fiance however, hated the idea and tried to convince me to pick people willy nilly to fill in. I was horrified by the idea and said no way.  I am really glad you are considering your FI’s feelings in this respect.  The good news with GMs is they don’t need nearly as much notice, so you could even change your mind over the next few months if you grow closer to someone and feel they may be a good fit.

    Post # 5
    349 posts
    Helper bee

    I’ve seen lots of weddings on here lately with uneven numbers.  Many of them have one Groomsmen exit with a Bridesmaid or Best Man on each arm – makes for some cute photos!  Not sure how to solve the dance issue, but walking out is easy!

    Post # 6
    9552 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    When you get an idea in your head like “wedding parties are supposed to be balanced” it can be really hard to get that idea out. But I’m really glad that you’re making the right decision about not forcing your guy and looking for solutions. Here are some suggestions:

    1. Your girls are adults and one can walk in the recessional by herself. Or she can walk with the flower girl/ring bearer. Or the officiant.
    2. I’ve never seen the bridesmaids and groomsmen dancing together and I’ve been to dozens of weddings. I know it happens in some weddings but it isn’t necessary at all.
    3. Your photographer will know how to position all your wedding party so it looks great and well balanced.


    Post # 7
    1002 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We had an uneven wedding party. I had 3 BMs and Darling Husband had 4 Groomsmen. It worked out fine, and I wouldn’t have asked someone who I didn’t want in the wedding just to fill space. All of the girls walked down the aisle by themselves, and after the ceremony, one Bridesmaid or Best Man walked with two guys.

    Post # 8
    99 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I am a huge fan of uneven wedding parties. I will have 8 BMs and my fiance will have 9 people on his side- including his 4 sisters! It is one of my favorite things about our wedding and his sisters are so excited to be standing on his side.

    As far as your concerns go, I agree with some of the other brides and I actually prefer the groomsmen (in my case his sisters also) to walk in with the groom. And then the bridesmaids to walk in before the bride.

    I think the wedding party dance is a little out dated- I’m not sure if everyone in your wedding party knows each other or not, but either way, forcing people to slow dance for 3+ minutes with someone they may have nothing in common with is just uncomfortable. If you are set on a Wedding Party dance, what about doing a faster song? Where everyone can dance together as a group…

    And make sure to let your photographer know about the uneven numbers and they should come prepared with some great ideas.

    Overall, its nothing to fret about. You said that you have one Bridesmaid or Best Man that you may or may not still want in your wedding, well think about how your fiance would feel if he is forced to ask someone to be in his wedding that he doesn’t want simply to make your pictures even…

    Post # 9
    1748 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    1 person off doesn’t bother me. If it were 10 BM’s and 2 Groomsmen, that would make me crazy. Of course, just because 1 person has more close friends doesn’t mean you should just ask random people.

    Post # 10
    506 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Don’t sweat it. It doesn’t matter. If it actually is driving you to crazy town you have these options:

    1. Make Fi throw in another person

    2. Kick out a Bridesmaid or Best Man

    3. Throw a random relative up there

    4. Get over it

    Post # 11
    7777 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Why is Fiance so against asking a 3rd guy? I always thought GMs never did much anyway, all the guy would have to do is wear a suit and escort the 3rd Bridesmaid or Best Man.

    I agree with PPs that the bridal party dance is unnecessary, but I do agree with you that symmetry is nice (for the ceremony and photos). If it’s because he doesn’t want to pick between 2 friends, is there a male relative on your side who could stand in?

    Post # 13
    506 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @lilarose:  Do you have any siblings/familia that could fill in the spot if it makes you crazy town?

    Post # 14
    1832 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Uneven bridal party here as well, I have 5 Bridesmaid or Best Man, he has 4 Groomsmen. Who cares, it will all work out fine.

    Post # 15
    56 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I know how you feel! I was a bit concerned at the beginning as I have 6 Bridesmaid or Best Man and there are 4 Groomsmen. It bugged me until I just started to remind myself what the wedding party is there for. They are there to support you, and celebrate your marriage by standing up there with you while you tie the knot! Just keep reminding yourself of that and eventually the lack of even-ness won’t seem like such a huge deal anymore. Also I know I’d feel pretty good about being a bridesmaid if I got to walk back with a guy on each arm 🙂 

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