(Closed) stupid fight, stupid guest list, this is why I wanted to elope >:(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I know you are venting, and man, guest lists bring out the worst in just about everything, but I have a couple of observations/questions.  It’s very possible that you just missed putting this in there, but how close is your FI to couple B?  I mean I get that you don’t know them hardly at all, but how well does your FI know them?  There were people invited to my wedding that I considered family.  I’d known them for years, grew up being babysat by them, etc.  They aren’t related to me, but they are still “family” to me.  I’d have been hurt and disappointed had my hubby told me that he didn’t want them there because he didn’t know them.  

My observation based on what you wrote, is that I heard a LOT of “I” in your post (i.e. “I’ve only met them briefly once.”, “I don’t want strangers at my wedding”, etc), but no talk of how he feels.  I get that you have a big family, and I know you want them involved, but the wedding, just like the marriage, is about both of you.  

Based solely on what’s in this post, I think both of you some things to work on.  He was childish by locking you out of the room, and I agree with you that you should only invite the amount of people that will actually fit in the venue (because as we all know from others on this forum, assuming people won’t come can have bad results).  However, I think that he’s right (again based on what I’m reading) that you are holding both your family size and the money from your dad against him.  

Post # 4
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

Boo 🙁 But if you eloped you wouldn’t get to wear the gorgeous dress!!

Post # 6
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@dodgercpkl: Great thoughts!

FI has people on his guest list that I have only met a few times, but it’s important to him that they be there.  Who am I to argue?

Post # 7
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Bostonsmom: Awww hope you two can work it out. I think it might be a bit easier if you just divide the number of invites… so say you invite 60 ppl and he invite 60 ppl (or however you two want to split it up)…. but then that way he can invite whoever he would like to participate in the big day and vice versa…. Good Luck and see if you all can work it out without yelling or bringing up who is paying for it, etc… Everything will work itself out… I know a lot of ppl that argue over the guest list…. so good luck again!

Post # 9
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@SoontobeMrsA:  You can still have a real wedding, and wear a real dress… even if you do elope.  The ONLY difference is that it’s just you and your hubby.

Post # 10
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hi – I’m sorry! 

I am also a bride who preferred to elope.  I totally understand your frustration with all of this effort and work you are putting into for a party you never really wanted in the first place.

It sounds like you and your FI need to sit down and have a talk about what you both want and how he intends to help.  If he’s not willing to help and apologizing for locking you out of your bedroom, then i think you have bigger problems.

The topic ‘stupid fight, stupid guest list, this is why I wanted to elope >:(’ is closed to new replies.

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