(Closed) Stupid Guests or Stupid Me?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

I think there will always be people who are confused by RSVPs no matter how you word them. I can see how maybe someone might think that they were invited and could bring two additional guests, but that wouldn’t make much sense.

Post # 5
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Dude, it’s not that hard! I did my cards the same way and it turned out okay. I bet that those guests have just never seen those style cards before.

Post # 6
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Maybe you should have included “0, 1, 2” as options and written in small print “please circle one”.

How people are confused by this are beyond me. It takes all kinds, lemme tell ya =]

Post # 7
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Our RSVPs were the same way, and we didn’t have any problems with people understanding it.

Post # 9
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am doing mine exactly the same way. Hopefully it works out better for me. I have no idea why this is so hard for people to understand. Are they serious?! Hopefuly the people who were confused called and asked and the others understood.

Post # 10
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Those really aren’t that hard to understand.  It means that you have 2 people that can come with the card people!

Post # 11
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Do you think they are confused because they are assuming they are or should be invited with more than your allotted number of guests? I am hung up on the FMIL’s casual mention of people bringing more guests that you’ve invited. Why can’t she straighten this out when people call with questions…?

Post # 13
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Uggh, sounds like a pain :/ Even though it’ll be totally annoying, can you just tell your FMIL to direct all future calls to you or someone you ‘gift’ with the task of fielding these questions, lol?  It doesn’t sound like you can count on your FMIL handling it.  I’m with you though, there is nothing confusing about your format, so I am afraid that people are trying to hint that they want to bring more people.

Post # 14
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’ll go out on a limb and say that when I got my first wedding invite back in college I was confused by this kind of wording.  I wasn’t sure if I was a guest or if the person I brought was the guest.  But, since I didn’t have any kids or anything, I figured it out quickly that “2” probably meant “me + date” and not “me + date + awkward third wheel guest”.  But I can see how, say, a married couple with one child might be confused.  Did your guests have to indicate an entree choice?  That’s my backup plan for figuring out how many they’re rsvp-ing for.  If I wanted to invite 2 people, and there are 4 sets of initials next to food choices, they’re definately getting a phone call.

I do think your FI needs to talk to his mom and emphasize that the bringing extra people thing is not okay and she needs to make sure people understand that when they call to clarify.  Tell her the caterer is bringing the exact amout of food and chairs and everything, so any extra guests that show up are going to be standing in a corner, awkward and hungry.

Post # 15
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

Ack, that’s frustrating.  To tell you the truth the first time I saw one of those RSVPs I was like why are they saying I can have 2 guests come with me???  Yups, it sounds silly but I really didn’t understand that wording even though I know now that it’s commonly used. 

I figured it out and so did everyone else and it was fine.  I’m sure people who are confused will call someone so just get the word out.

Post # 16
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ack, sorry you are going through this!

My suggestion is that you send you MIL a list of all people on her side of the family that were invited (may organized by invite sent) and let her know that extra people are not OK!

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