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Seeing that we're 10/11 weeks now I figured it was safe to tell our wedding party, consisting of our closest friends. I've noticed some pretty... interesting/rude comments made to me. Example, my friend who had a baby via c-section and scheduled her c-section for her second baby (due in april) made a comment when she found out I was having a natural birth, "Oh, good luck with that! You won't last, I know it. Trust me." Yeah... you would know because you went to the hospital, immediately got shot up with an epidural and then had a section... you know ALL about it. Or the men referring to me as "knocked up." I HATE this term. The girl in my freshman year english class was knocked up, I'm pregnant, because when we're adults and not immature asses that's the verbage we use. And the questions I get when I talk about my decision to give birth in a birth center vs a hospital. "Oh my gosh! What if something goes wrong?" Yeah, because they don't have a doctor in the facility or a hospital next door? Not to mention the stupid questions about my vagina and uterus from my family/MIL/strangers or random hands wanting to touch me everywhere.
What's the most amazing thing someone's asked/done that makes your jaw just hit the floor?
I got the most awful comments from a girl that I used to be friends with in high school. I get severe migraines and they pretty much blew up during my first trimester, so I've had to take meds for them. I have no choice, I don't like doing it, but I'm in too much pain to just suffer through it. She told me that she would never take these meds while pregnant. Um..... you have no idea what I'm going through! She's never even had a migraine. If she had this pain, I know for a fact she'd be in the ER asking for drugs.
People can be so rude!
I've gotten lots of comments about natural birth and cloth diapering. My MIL said something to the effect of she hoped I would remember the health of my baby while I was trying natural birth! As if I'd risk the health of my child.
The best advice I was given, and have to give to others, is to not talk about some of your personal choices. Be vague. We haven't decided, we're considering the options, etc... Everyone will jump in with their 2 cents if you are too open with people about your choices.
oh, I was also told by one of DH's cousins, who is a nurse and a mom, that I was so big I was going to have a 16 pound baby! I'm not, and haven't been that big!
I gained more than my fair share of weight when I was pregnant with my first born. In August, I had a teller at Walmart ask if I was having twins. I just plastered a grin on my face and said nope, there's just one in there. And then she said, Oh well then you must be overdue, I feel for you dear. I decided not to tell her that I wasn't due until OCTOBER, but yes I did go home and cry.
Too many rude comments to count, seeing as I have four children. Lol With my youngest I was 38 while I was pregnant and THAT comment came from a lady in the waiting area in my OB. She said "Aren't you worried having a baby so old?" Yea.... That one was fun. ; )
I agree 100% with mrstilly that sometimes it is much better to be vague. And try and just let the stupid comments roll off..... We humans sometimes seem to think that the ways we have learned to do things, or just the way we have always done things, is the only right way. : ) Hang in there!! It is only the beginning....
My little sister is only 12 weeks along and already has a very noticable baby bump, which is absolutely adorable on her. She's a very slender gal, so anything on her shows up. She's one of those gals with an AWESOME body and her baby bump just makes her more beautiful in my opinion...with that said, our other sister saw her the other day and said "Hey Tubby!" I heard about this 2nd hand, but I swear when I see my other sister (who is a good deal overweight, like myself) I am going to tell her to never ever ever again call our other pregnant sister Tubby. I swear I wanted to kick her hard in the kneecaps for that one. My little sister has been slender her whole life, so even just a little baby bump is an adjustment for her. She's getting used to it, but comments on her weight are definitely not called for.
I've gotten the "you're getting fat" remarks from people. And I have a tiny bump that looks like I may be pregnant or just had a really big lunch. Um, let me get one thing straight, you are fat, I'm pregnant! What's your excuse? A Twinkie baby?
"Guess we know what you two were up to four months ago!"
Ew - no. Just don't go there, you know?
Anything along the lines of "You are considering/doing X? I would never do X."
At hearing that I was 16 weeks along, someone told me I was "hardly pregnant". REALLY? That's not like I just took the pregnancy test - I was through the first trimester for goodness sake!
'Oh your butt's even bigger now!' - Suprisingly something about my butt size has been said to me by multiple people. It's true, i havent' gained much weight excpet for my boobs butt and belly but still come on people.
@eeniebeans: Ah! Yes, you say 16 weeks and they say "oh, you're barely pregnant!" But you say 4 months and it's "oh my gosh! You're almost half way there!"
I basically don't even want to have kids now. I had no idea being pregnant induced (haha get it?) the worst out of people.
@MissHoneyBun: Nice pun! It's fun to call people out on being assholes. When they ask stupid questions or make unnecessary comments I just like to flat our tell them they're being rude. That way there's no gray area and they think about what they say from then on :)
Wow! I am surprised how many rude things people say. I'm scared for what I'm in for! haha!
My favorite thing to do is when a stranger tries to talk about the contents of my uterus ("When is the baby due?) I look at them and go "What baby?"
Let it be a lesson to them - unless you actually SEE a baby being born or unless I specifically say something to you about it - keep your big mouths shut.
I don't mind people asking when I'm due now that I'm nine months pregnant. Most women just want to reminisce about their first baby and tell you good luck and how great you look. I actually haven't gotten many rude comments. But I do tend to be vague about my decision to do natural childbirth and not to breastfeed. People always tend to think it's their business what medications I take and what my boobs are doing.... Ha.
@camrie: HA! That's the best thing I've ever heard. Good for you.
At 16 weeks when I had gained back the 5 lbs I lost during the first trimester and gained another 2 or so, my aunt told me she "believed I was getting a bit of a bum." I was furious... not only because my butt hadn't increased in size, but because it was just such an ignorant thing to say!
Last week I met someone through work and after asking me how much time I had left he said "So, do you plan to go the natural route, or get the ol' slice?" I just stared at him because I was so shocked at the comment. I wasn't really offended, just totally caught off guard... I had been introduced to him all of 30 seconds before that... seemed like a pretty personal question for a stranger to ask!
@camrie: LOL, love it! We wished we had thought of that when we were out at a diner once - I just ordered toast and tea (I had already eaten) and my husband ordered a meal plus a side and pop, and the waitress said "And which of you is eating for two?" We know she meant it as a joke, but we thought afterward how funny it would have been if I had just stared at her and looked offended.
I would never, ever ever say anything to someone about them being pregnant unless I was absolutely certain they were (if they had just told me, for instance, lol!).
Nothing really bothered me *too* much because I know that people generally don't say these things out of malice. Everyone just loves the pregnant belly, sharing their experience, blabbity blah. I get it.
What bothered me the most was the constant comments about my boobs. "Wow, your boobs are getting HUGE!!!" "Wow, what's your cup size now?" "Wow, you must get tired trying to hold those puppies up all day!"
Shut. The. F!&*. Up. I just thought it was so rude. I don't want to hear your breastfeeding stories, I don't want to hear you discussing anything related to my breasts. Towards the end I'd just say "Yeah, I know. They're attached."
@sessaj: Lol - I've actually witnessed people assume that women were pregnant when they weren't... more than once. Even as someone who was just overhearing the conversation, I kind of wanted to die of embarrassment.
@camrie: I like to joke that "unless I see the head crowning" I don't ask if anyone is pregnant. haha! Been friends with someone who was asked and she wasn't and she was really upset. I just don't want to risk it.
@sessaj: one guy at the post office asked me if I'm having a boy or a girl - and I wasn't even pregnant! wow, you should have seen the look on his face!
I wasn't looking big bellied that day, it's just that I was wearing a baby doll style coat and maybe the cut made him think I was pregnant. the poor guy was so mortified!
but to the OP: I feel you. I try to be sensitive for my pregnant friends!
@Beluga: Yeah THAT's who I'm really trying to get thru to - it's not that I mind so much that people ask about MY pregnancy but so many people make assumptions about women's weight or will ask about due date after a baby is born. It's super rude and they need to be called on it.
You think knocked up is bad? My husband uses cattle terms like that I'm "stuck". I told him to not refer to me as a cow in anyway. It also doesn't help that we are in full swing calving season, and I get to hear these horror stories about prolapsing cows and stuff. Ugh. I had no problem with these stories BEFORE I was pregnant, but not I do NOT WANT TO HEAR IT! :)
I had this guy say to me once "did you have the baby? weren't you pregnant at the beginnng of the semester?"
SO.AWFUL. !!!!!
(never.been.pregnant.)
I got the "twins" comment when I was about to pop...
Walking through HEB a guy on the other side of the freezer section said it "Wow.. are you having twins"...
I almost killed him! lol
@sessaj: You should have asked him if he plans to "Let his balls rot off, or get him the ol' snip!"
I haven't had anything rude yet, mostly because it just looks like I've got a "food baby" growing. I really hope I just get all the nice comments, though! I do find that I get a lot of remarks about pickles. No, I'm sorry, I'm NOT craving pickles, so back off please!
I have had a lot of irritating and hurtful remarks about the TTC period. I will never tell anyone we're TTC ever again! All the unwanted "advice" and religion talk. Oh, geez, don't even get me started!!
@sand dollar: LOL! If I could have formed a sentence I would have loved to think of something that clever!! I literally just stared at him with my mouth open a little, ha ha!
I keep waiting for strangers to give me advice or try to touch my belly... I've heard about it happening to SO many people, but it hasn't happened to me yet. I'm trying to remind myself to go with what someone said on another thread - I think it was camrie - that I'll just say I'm not pregnant and let them feel ridiculous!! I've also thought that if it's advice someone offers, I'll tell them how awesome it is that they're so concerned about our little one and I can give them the account # for her education savings so he/she can start contributing, lol!
My FIL kept telling me during my pregnancy to not get an epidural because I or the baby could become paralyzed and even rushed into our delivery room right after I had gotten the epidural to state his position yet again...He even said he did research and would read stuff to me he printed off the internet at dinners...
At the shower my inlaws also liked to tell me horror stories about a baby pooing or peeing in their mouth or something else gross related to it...and that it will probably happen to me... IT DIDNT. (Im pregnant with my 2nd baby)
My latest irritation has been about my summer due date. Every time somebody asks (it's August 25th, on the Texas gulf coast) all they say is, "Oh, WOW, you're gonna be HOT! Didn't think that one through, eh?" My favorite rebuttal is "Since when did you come with a built in a/c? It's Texas, it's hot March through November! Looks like everybody's gonna be hot in August. At least I have a good excuse." Seriously, I've heard this no less than 30 times. I seriously want to smack people. My husband is even getting irritated with it.
There are 2 types of people in this world. Those that say "you look great, congratulations" and those who want to tell you horror stories. My MIL falls into the latter category. Why people feel the need to spew this totally UNhelpful information to a pregnant lady is beyond me.
A women, a stranger asked me if it was a boy or girl and when I said "girl" she said "good luck" in a rude way...in a way that seemed like she had a daughter with some teen angst issues or something.
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