- 3 years ago
My wedding was this last weekend, and I am just so grumpy and annoyed about the whole thing. I completely and utterly regret every bit of it and wish it had never happened. I can’t believe I wasted so much precious TIME and MONEY on something so STUPID and FRIVOLOUS and DUMB.
First of all my FI and I fought like crazy the last few months up until the wedding, including some extremely nasty behaviour on his part. So that just was a horrible way to lead up to it. Then my mom and I also fought like crazy due to me being so stressed out and having no one to help me plan the stupid wedding (I didn’t have bridesmaids, my sister could care less, and FI wasn’t into it). I feel absolutely terrible about fighting with my mom so much. I feel really really badly, although I’ve apologized profusely.
Then the whole thing took SO much of my time, even though I was trying to make it super extra simple, just a garden picnic wedding. I wasn’t able to focus at work, I wasn’t able to keep up with friends, or to keep up my exercise regiment because every waking moment was left planning. It was such a collossol and utter waste of time and I’m so mad that I wasted it.
I also canNOT believe that we wasted so much money. I tried to make it as cheap as possible, but it just kept adding up. My parents spent probably $7 or $8K and then with the mini-honeymoon and rings and things we probably spent another $5 or $6K. And now I want to buy my first car, and we want to buy a house someday soon, but we just wasted all this stupid money it’s hard to fathom spending more right now.
The wedding itself was ok, but it was such a whirlwind, I barely got to enjoy it or talk to anybody. Some people flew in from out of town just for the day and I barely was able to speak to them. Both FI and I have just all this guilt and bad feelings about neglected guests, even though we visited every table, it was just impossible to be present. Our overarching feeling at the end of the day was feeling badly about it all. All we talked about on the honeymoon was again and again how badly we felt about so many things about it.
Not to mention my bangs looked stupid, my fake eyelash was coming off, my posture was bad, my arms weren’t toned because I wasn’t working out anymore. My dress looks like it doesn’t fit properly – it’s too big and is all weird and lumpy and makes my head look small. My FI had gained weight with all the stress so he didn’t look so good either. Not that it mattered because we didn’t have enough time and forgot to do posed photos with the photographer so all we have is me cackling or eating or whatever. I don’t like the photos at all. Not to mention they just remind me of the stupidness of it all.
And in the end we forgot to sign the marriage certificate, so I’m not even married. We’re going to do it in a few more weeks on our anniversary but honestly I’d be just as happy not to and just pretend we did. Having a stupid fluffy party associated with it made it just seem so meaningless.
I’m just so mad I wasted all that time and money and all I had was some stupid party that I didn’t even care about to begin with.
and I still have part two of the wedding on the east coast to plan and participate in a few weeks.