- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Hi ladies! I just got married last month. My husband and I have been together for almost two years now. I think I’m being paranoid. I have a really close friend who’s getting divorced (they didn’t make it through 2 years of marriage) and I feel like it’s making me more paranoid about my own marriage but then that sounds crazy.
So my husband has only ever dated 3 girls before me (in fairness, I only dated 3 as well and they were all long term relationships). But his first girlfriend he was pretty serious about. He was with her for two years and they would interchange long emails and have long conversations about deep things like God, religion in general and she’d give meaningful feedback on his writing (he writes short stories on the side) and she was more diverse in authors and books that I’ve never even read. I read more contemporary things that he’s not interested in (which is fine, I dont mind) and I’m not religious like she was. I go to church and all but she was living, breathing, preaching it — I’m far from that. I’m very shy about it and we generally don’t talk about it, but he would talk about it all the time, confidently, with this other girl. His mother always pushed for him to be with her and he never came out and said he loved her, but just from what I’ve heard, he did. This all happened in 2007-2009. I have no idea why it bothers me but it does. I feel like I’m not good enough compared to her. She comes off as perfect in every way. My husband says she was very narrow-minded and too-religious (that’s my word, the word he used — I have no idea what but, she pretty much was telling him that by drinking alcohol he wasn’t setting a good example for Christians, or something like that). But I just feel like I cant measure up to a girl who comes across as perfect. It’s driving me insane! The other two girls he dated were a little crazy but I’m not so bothered by them. It’s just this one girl. He says he’s over her and he’s been over her ever since he realized she was in her own little world, but I just don’t see how he could possibly not want a girl that was perfect in every way?! It seems weird and it nags at me that he’s not telling me the truth, but he hasn’t talked to the girl in a year. The last time he talked to her was him responding to her facebook message saying congrats on being engaged. And in his response he said I was wonderful and he was blessed to have me, etc… but I just can’t stop thinking that there’s a part of him that wishes he was with her :/