Post # 1
- Wedding: November 2014 - Sea Ranch Lodge
Ok, not sure exactly where to post this, but I guess etiquette will do.
We have chosen a wedding venue that is about 3 hours up the coast from us (Mendocino area), and many people are going to want to spend the night (drinks + windy coast roads = BAD). We have a good chunk of people coming from out of town as well.
The venue requires us to fill their lodge due to the amount of people that we will have there. The lodge has 18 rooms, all of which are GORGEOUS but START at about $300/ night. There are other nearby accomodations that are significantly cheaper and still pretty nice. My worry is that people are going to want to stay at the cheaper places.
My dad’s solution to the problem is to subsidize people’s rooms if they feel that they can’t foot the bill.
I feel really guilty about this. My parents are footing the bill for the whole thing, even though in our culture (both parents are from Russia) there is no norm that the bride’s parents pay for everything. Although, I think it bothers me exponentially more than it bothers them.
Even if we DO susidize the rooms, how do we figure out how much discount to give people? Or who to offer the discounted rooms to?
Any advice bees?
Post # 3
@QueenieB: oooo how I feel for you. That is a tough place to be in. 300 a room? The venue usually would discount the rooms for you. I find it pushy of the venue to assume that you would have so many guests willing to pay that price, when there are many other affordable options close by.
I would give people only the information about your venue and lodging. If they want to book elsewhere they can look into it. If your parents put 2,000 toward the rooms that would make the rooms 189.00 a piece, which is more affordable. I mean I totally understand not wanting them to pay 2,000 more- but it certainly more comfortable to ask for money from parents than it is to ask guests. In the end if the rooms were not booked, your parents would be paying full price for them, right? That would mean them paying 5000++
Post # 4
Well, if the venue requires you to fill all the rooms and you can’t, your parents are going to end up footing the bill for the extra rooms anyway — and they’re going to stay empty. Subsidizing the rooms is a good idea.
As for choosing people to get the less-expensive rooms, I’d look at close family first (grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles) first, and then either choose members of your bridal party or cousins/younger friends who don’t have as much money.
You don’t have to tell people the rooms are being subsidized. Just have your dad pay a flat rate to bring down the cost of the room so when people call to book, they’re told the cost is $150 instead of $300.
Post # 5
I’m going to tell you what my reaction as a guest would be (and I don’t mean it rudely or in a snarky manner at all!)
1. DH and I never both drink to excess and if one of us having a second beer, glass of wine, margarita (that would me on that one), the other stops drinking after the first one and is the DD. Even though we never go beyond second drinks it is just how we roll. That being said, I would make reservations at the cheaper hotel. 300.00 a night ain’t happening.
2. If you offered to subsidize my room (which is a lovely thought, by the way) there is no way I would be able to accept that. I would feel that I was imposing and not paying my fair share, and, once again, would be staying down the road in the cheaper hotel.
I may be wrong, but I think a lot of people would think the same way. what are you guys going to do if you don’t fill the lodge? That is a lot of money and venues with requirements like that cause me a lot of concern for the end picture financially.
Post # 6
@QueenieB: Let people stay where they want. Why would you have to fill the hotel? Just don’t book a room block.
Post # 7
@QueenieB: I’m not sure what subsidizing mean, but I can relate to that because that’s what’s happening in our venue too. It is a winery, but right beside it there are about 30 luxury chalets that cost more than 400$ a night (but those are for 6 people). As the bride and groom, we get ours at the special price of 250$/night, including two accesses to their spa. That’s what we’ll do, but we can not impose our guests to pay that amount to sleep on site. That’s unfortunate, because we would have prefered to offer them the option of not having to drive ; on the other hand, we wanted to end the wedding reception earlier to allow those who wanted to drive back home if they wanted (3 hours away). So what we’ll do on our wedding blog, is research for them the hotels, motels and B&B in the area. Some are 5 minutes away, some are 20 minutes away, but the price range varies and they will choose what suits them and their budget best. That’s also what my FI’s parents have told us when we talked to them about the different options. We can accomodate out-of-town guests by giving them all the informations, but ultimately, they will choose according to their budget and as others said, not everybody drinks until they can’t drive. Many will drink wine during dinner and start having coffee at dessert.
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2014 - Sea Ranch Lodge
Yeah – good point. Might try to work with the hotel to bring it down that way so that guests don’t know
No worries not snarky at all 🙂 I might try to do what the other bees said – work with the lodge to pay for some portion of the rooms in advance so that people think it’s cheaper. I don’t think that 100% of people will be staying, but we have enough people going where a good chunk will.
We don’t have a choice. If you have over a certain # of people going to your event, the venue requires you to fill their rooms (which is only 18 rooms so not too horrible)
Post # 9
@QueenieB: what are the prices of the nearby hotels? I probably would only stay at the venue if the cost was within $20 or so of the other hotels.