Post # 1
A good friend of mine was asked to be a bridesmaid in her friend’s wedding, which is the same day as mine. My friend came up with plans to go to both weddings since mine is in the afternoon and the other is later in the evening but it didn’t work out b/c of her bridesmaid duties. I’m a litle disappoined that she won’t be able to attend but it’s no big deal.
Yesterday, she apologized b/c she won’t be able to come to my wedding but said she’d really like for someone from her family to be there. She asked if her parents could go instead. Her parents are awesome but I’ve only met them twice. We can only have a max of 100 people at our venue and if she can’t go, I’d rather extend an invite to an extended family member we weren’t able to include b/c of space.
From reading the boards, I gather that I’m not obligated to invite her parents, right? Any other bees dealt with this?
Post # 3
No, you’re not. It’s actually strange that she asked you to invite them.
Post # 4
Just tell her what you told us! It’s totally fair for you to prioritize your own family over hers.
Post # 5
Ummm that’s a really weird request. Why would her parents even care about your wedding? You’re certainly not obligated to invite them in her place.
Post # 6
If this person is an otherwise good friend, I would think she probably felt bad, and wanted to have some sort of “representation” at your wedding as a show of support to you. That said, if you have others close to you that you would rather invite in her place, I would thank her for letting you know, but politely mention (read: white lie) that you have others who we’re on a standby list for +1s due to capacity and want to accomodate those requests since they asked first.
Post # 7
@snd485: It does seem like she was trying to be kind, and somehow make it up to you that she couldn’t be at your wedding. However, having her parents attend is a bit odd. Be sure to thank her profusely as you tell her that her parents don’t have to attend.
Just when you think you’ve heard it all… 🙂
Post # 8
There are a lot of strange guest requests on the bee, this one might top the cake. WTF? Who would think of sending someone to a wedding instead of them. oh LOL.
Post # 9
@Atalanta: +1 exactly, well put!
Post # 10
@JoCoJenn: I think you’re spot on. She felt bad about not being able to attend and wanted representation from her family.
Post # 11
Thanks for all the comments. I just wanted to be sure I wasn’t doing something wrong. Last night, I told her that we are at capacity (which is true) so we wouldn’t be able to accomodate her parents. I did invite her to do some planning stuff with me and my bridesmaids so that she can still feel like a part of the wedding.
Post # 12
yeah its sucks she cant go but its odd for her parents to come expceially if you only met them a few times, im haveing my friend and his parents there we have known each other for over 13years and his family is like my family, bit some friends im not inviting there parents or anything.. and you could alwasy tell your friend well, i only had so many people comming and if your not going to come, my parents requested i ask another memnber of MY extended family…she shouldnt be hurt by that
Post # 13
um, that’s weird that she asked if her parents could be invited. say no. and tell her you are sorry she won’t be able to make it to yours.
Post # 14
no, that is very strange that she asked that her parents go in her place. you should extend the invite to someone YOU actually want to be there.
Post # 15
No, you’re definitely not obligated. Her asking to change your guest list is rude!
Post # 16
@sweetie78: +1. Just explain to her that you’ve got space limits and would prefer to invite someone else.