Substitute Guests?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No, you’re not. It’s actually strange that she asked you to invite them.

Post # 4
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Just tell her what you told us!  It’s totally fair for you to prioritize your own family over hers.

Post # 5
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Ummm that’s a really weird request. Why would her parents even care about your wedding? You’re certainly not obligated to invite them in her place.

Post # 6
460 posts
Helper bee

If this person is an otherwise good friend, I would think she probably felt bad, and wanted to have some sort of “representation” at your wedding as a show of support to you. That said, if you have others close to you that you would rather invite in her place, I would thank her for letting you know, but politely mention (read: white lie) that you have others who we’re on a standby list for +1s due to capacity and want to accomodate those requests since they asked first.

Post # 7
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 1993

@snd485:  It does seem like she was trying to be kind, and somehow make it up to you that she couldn’t be at your wedding. However, having her parents attend is a bit odd. Be sure to thank her profusely as you tell her that her parents don’t have to attend.

Just when you think you’ve heard it all… 🙂

Post # 8
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

There are a lot of strange guest requests on the bee, this one might top the cake.  WTF?  Who would think of sending someone to a wedding instead of them.  oh LOL.

Post # 12
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

yeah its sucks she cant go but its odd for her parents to come expceially if you only met them a few times, im haveing my friend and his parents there we have known each other for over 13years and his family is like my family, bit some friends im not inviting there parents or anything.. and you could alwasy tell your friend well, i only had so many people comming and if your not going to come, my parents requested i ask another memnber of MY extended family…she shouldnt be hurt by that 

Post # 13
6173 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

um, that’s weird that she asked if her parents could be invited.  say no. and tell her you are sorry she won’t be able to make it to yours.


Post # 14
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

no, that is very strange that she asked that her parents go in her place. you should extend the invite to someone YOU actually want to be there.

Post # 15
11634 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No, you’re definitely not obligated.  Her asking to change your guest list is rude!

Post # 16
5162 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@sweetie78:  +1.  Just explain to her that you’ve got space limits and would prefer to invite someone else.

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