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I'm so sorry you are going through this. :(
I was thinking about something similar today. My cousin passed away just a little over 5 years ago when her boyfriend fell asleep at the wheel and the car crashed. She was my age and we were really close growing up; she would have been a bridesmaid.
Aww ((hugs)) That is such a heartbreaking story. I'm so sorry for your loss of your very best friend. The hurt never really goes away... especially when someone is taken so suddenly.
Have you thought of a way to include her on your wedding day?
I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my grandma in March after a long battle with cancer. I think about her everyday, I will be her first grandaughter to get married, and it really breaks my heart that she will not be able to be there to see it, up close and personal. I know she will be with me in spirit however.
I would consider recognizing your friend in your ceremony. Maybe have your MOH carry a flower that symbolizes her. It doesn't have to be explained to everyone, but you will know what it means.
I will be placing a single red rose on a seat in the family section of the ceremony. Red roses were my grandma's favorite!
I bet your friend would be so happy for you, and they journey you are one right now!
Wish you all the best!
I can relate, 3 years ago I lost my Mum, Gran and Grandad in the course of 18months. I was really close to my Gran and Grandad, they helped raise me, I never new my dad and had no siblings or other Grandparents so these three people were my only relatives. I am getting married in a year and will have no family members there, I had always pictured my granddad giving me away, it breaks my heart that he wont be there, and not having Mum to help plan has been hard too.
But I have some amazing Friends and My Fi's family has really welcomed me. So although I am sad I am happy that I get to start a new family.
wow-I am so so sorry! Have you thought of a way to include your friends memory in your special day? We have a different type of absence that makes us sad (family members choosing not to attend our (gay) wedding. Hopefully they'll come around. Sending some good thoughts your way today!
Lost my step-brother last December. He got to see our sister get married, but not me. I miss him everyday. I'm so sorry for your loss.
im really sorry about your friend. My fiance's sister passed away when she was 18 from an unknown heart condition as well. He was really close with his sister and is very sad she will not be with him at our wedding. I think you just need to find a way to keep her memory alive on your wedding day. We are still thinking of the best way to incorporate his sisters memory.
My mom died in January and now when i think of her not being at the wedding it makes me sad. My wedding is going to be one of the happiest sad days of my life. I'm sure i will cry exspecially when I do the memorial to her in the ceremony!
I feel ya... yesterday was my dad's birthday, he would have been 57. He died in January 2004.
((HUGS))
Awwww I'm so sorry to hear this. She sounds like she was an incredible friend/person. I know that she will be able to watch your wedding and be there in spirit.
(((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
When someone is young and dies unexpectedly, it just hurts so much (my cousin passed away four years ago in November just before his 18th birthday). He lived in India and I wish he could have been here. Even though he wasn't young when he died, I will miss my grandfather on my wedding day, too.
As long as you keep your friend's memory in your heart, then she is never completely gone and will share your day and be with you always. I am keeping you in my thoughts!
I lost my mom three years ago. Im sad that she wont be here, I think of her every day.
I never knew my mother's mother. Since we started planning the wedding, my mother and I have been thinking of her, wishing I had the chance to know her, and wishing that she could be there. Although I have felt the loss of not knowing her throughout my life, something about this experience has made it intense in a new way. For our ceremony & reception site, we chose a rose garden that she and my mother used to visit, and that my mother has always brought me to visit. It's our special way of honoring her, and trying to feel close to her.
I am also going to carry a locket with pics of family members who have passed tied onto my bouquet -- I read about that idea on this site I think...
I'm so sorry. My best friend's dad had told us when we were little that he would dance with us at our weddings to "What a Wonderful World" (it was on the radio and we were dancing with him in her kitchen at the time). He passed away when we were in college, and whenever i hear that song at a wedding, I SOB. I am considering putting it on the do not play list. *HUGS*
My best friend since I was 5 years old passed away on March 1st this year. She, too, would have been my MOH. The accident tragically claimed the life of her, her unborn child and her mother - who was like a second mother to me. The kicker? It happened on an icy road... her car spun out and hit a plow, and they were on their way up to a family dinner to announce her pregnancy to the family.
I had just gotten over mourning when FH popped the question. Now I feel like I have been violently shoved back into mourning - I always pictured this happening with her by my side. I am sorry for your loss - I truly can understand.
My FH dad died 3 years ago of cancer and my grandpa died last year. Both of these men we're hugely important to the both of us. We are so happy about our wedding but feel the hurt of not having these amazing men there.
My father.
He passed away 10 years ago also to a heart problem.
Last night we were on our way to see holiday lights and listening to the holiday music station and somebody called in a non-holiday request for a family member--Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World".
I'm an encore bride and when I married my ex, I had the very song as our father daughter dance. That was the song I heard last night and since we're on the verge of getting engaged, i teared up and had to turn my head away b/c of tears.
I miss him and knowing he's not there to do it in the physical sense crushes me, but what I will instead do is have a cameo locket made with his picture on it and have it attached to my bouquet so he is in spirit, walking me down the aisle. That gives my heart peace.
So sorry for everybodys' loss of loved ones. Hugs to all. I feel they're looking down on us and are happy. I know my dad would love T. I just wish they had met.
I'm so very sorry :(
There are two people that I will miss at my wedding. My grandmother was was my best friend, she died in 2001, I have her name tattooed on my shoulder.
My brother also died of a heart condition no one knew he had, two years ago at the age of 31. Although we were not close, I have no one else to walk me down the aisle.
I'm really sorry, I know how you feel. My best friend passed away 7.5 years ago due to complications from an eating disorder. The kicker? The prozac they put her own to ease her depression about gaining weight needs protein to break it down. She wasn't getting enough and it built up in her blood stream until THAT caused a heart attack. She was getting help, had routine bi-weekly blood tests to make sure she was NOT going to die and passed 2 days before the next test. Her father at this time was in the ICU (MS complications) and had to be put in a medically induced coma so he wouldn't die... he couldn't know until he was healthy enough a month later. He has now since passed.
I'm inviting her mother but as I no longer live in that state I don't know if she can make it. I really really hope she can though...
I'm so sorry for your lost.
My boyfriend died almost two years ago (December 5th) in his sleep from an unknown cause. I was with him when it happen and did CPR on him. It took me a while to get my life back together. I met my FI 8 months after he passed and still have the feeling that we were put together by him.
I will definitly think about him, my Grandma and my cousin on our wedding day.
I'm sorry for your loss. This is a time when a woman wants all her dreams come true and you probably sat up nights watching TV, eating pop corn, and planning your weddings. She can still be there in spirit. Try having her photo displayed with a nice bouquet of flowers. You don't have to have a maid of honor unless your state requires a signature of witnesses; but you don't have to have a woman be your witness. You don't need to replace her.
Rosie - I have had something similar happen. I moved back to the NYC area 8 years ago and even though I had high school friends in the area, I lived at home for awhile and commuted into the city so our schedules didn't really mesh. For about 8 months, I was totally friendless in NYC, had no one to go out with after work or hang out with on weekends. Finally I went to a happy hour type thing hosted by my undergrad alma mater and ran into an old acquaintence on mine who introduced me to a good friend of hers. Even though my college acquaintence was living in south Jersey and was planning to move back to DC, she totally encouraged us two to continue hanging out. So we did. And got along famously! She ended up introducing me to more of her friends and pretty much the rest was history. Unfortunately she passed away in 2005 under very mysterious circumstances, and although I was at her funeral, I never felt like I got any closure. In bewtween us meeting and her passing away, she got married and I helped her pick out her dress! It was such a fun time and although I wasn't able to go to her wedding b/c it was in Korea (where she was from), she always made me feel included which was amazing! I'm now sad because of anyone I know these days, she would be my first choice bridesmaid. I've lost many friends to job relocation, marriage, babies etc, so now I don't even know who I'd ask to be my MOH!
I also lost both of my grandparents about 10-12 years ago, and they raised me, so the fact that they will not be present (and my grandfather will not be able to walk me down the aisle - my father has never been in the picture) saddens me more than anything!
@Immigrantbride - how terrible! That must have been such a tough experience. I'm glad you've made it through though.
I'm so sorry. My best friend was killed in a car crash 5 years ago. My ex-boyfriend (who I was still close to at the time) died choking on his own vomit 1 year ago. They will both be missed at my wedding. As will my grandparents, my cousin Joel, and my mom's best friend and my surrogate aunt, Lainer.
my only grandfather i've known (my dad's father passed away when he was 7) passed away from lung cancer when i was a senior in high school. 8 years ago. it didn't dawn on me then, only hurt that it was the first real "death" of a close family member...
about a month or so after we got engaged, i had a dream, i was sitting in my grandpa's lap... excitedly telling him that i was engaged to my best friend. i woke up from sleeping with tears streaming down my face, after having heard my grandpa tell me that he was so happy for me and that he'd be there with me on my special day.
*sigh, i only wish he could be there, but i know he'll be watching over us :)
My Grandma passed away in 2004, That is who I wish could be at my wedding!!
I am so sorry, I know that is something especially hard to have to think about, but just remember that your best friend is looking down, and she is still present during your special time, maybe not physically, but she is there right beside you. Maybe you could do something special to incorporate her in the wedding, like a photo on your bouquet or something similar. ((hugs)) Everything will be alright, just hang in there, I know we all need our time of thought, and can tell you loved your friend dearly.
:)
I lost both of my paternal grandparents and my maternal grandfather in the span of a year, 1993-1994. We went to my mom's father's funeral the same weekend as my dad's parents' unveiling. Ugh.
My mom's best friend died in 1997 from pneumonia after being in a car accident and then in a coma for months.
My mom then became very close friends with another mom from my brother's little league team. Her daughter was hit by a car outside her school and died last November. This is actually the hardest one for me, as it's fresh, and I cannot even imagine how the family will handle it.
sorry for your loss. my fiance's dad won't be at our wedding bc he passed away many years ago. we're honoring him by placing a rose on a "reserved" empty chair in the front row for the ceremony. we're also framing a picture of him for the guestbook table and including him in the program. maybe you can find a way to honor your friend too :)
My Grammy passed away in 2001 but it seems like yesterday. I'd like to honor her at the wedding in a subtle way - her favorite bird was a cardinal and any time I see one I think of her. I am going to find a tiny cardinal to put in my bouquet as a reminder that she will be with me.
I wish my grampa would be present - he passed away when I was 6, but from everything I heard, he was a party animal that would have a ton of fun at my wedding. Plus, my gramma used to be a dancing fool and she would have loved to "get down" w/ him @ the reception.
i am so sorry for your loss!
My Grandmother was my best friend, she got dementia and died in a long slow sad process through my high school and part of my college years. I still miss her so much, and I not only wish she could be at my wedding someday, but I wish she could have met my SO. They wouls have hit it off instantly :/
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7 years ago today, my best friend passed away suddenly due to a heart condition that no one knew about.
For as long as we could remember, we'd promise each other that when we got married (to others) we'd be maid/matron of honors. Today is epsecially hard and thinking about how she won't be there in person is breaking my heart. 
We'd been bff's since the day we met when we were 3. Even at 3 we just knew we'd be friends forever, even if we didn't know what it meant.
Have any of you had someone special in your life whom you wished could have been at your wedding that couldn't?