I'm hoping you can help me with how to suggest to our guests what they should/should not wear to our wedding.
My fiance and I are getting married on the beach and understandably we don't expect our guests to wear gowns or tuxes. Having said that, we also don't expect them to arrive wearing shorts or swimwear although a few guests have joked (we hope!) about which Hawaiian shirt they're going to wear.
We know our wedding will be a laid back and casual event, which is why we chose to have a destination wedding but we also don't want our guests to lose sight that it is nevertheless serious and special for us. Also, it's probably a bit selfish of us but we would like our pics to look pretty!
Should I add a page to our wedding website with suggestions/ideas/links about what the should wear? Should I do a word of mouth/email as guests respond? Should I get my parents/bridal party to spread the word?
Maybe suggesting business casual for the men and sundresses for the ladies? Or perhaps put "dressy summer attire"--if I read that I would think sundresses for the ladies and khakis and button-downs for the men.
depending on the tone of your website, it may be fun to take a casual/fun approach to the question of what to wear. on our side, we didn't specify dress, but in the location detail did mention that it does get chilly outside at night and mentioned the ceremony would be on a lawn, so guests should plan footwear accordingly. it seems obvious on the planning side, but people may not think of it until their stilettos sink into the grass (or sand, perhaps, in your case).
the important thing is to get the tone right - if it comes off as a bossy list of things that aren't allowed, it may be offputting, but some guidance may be welcome to guests. I like angiepie's suggestion of dressy summer attire. if you are getting married in a tropical destination, you may be able to make a light comment about no hawaiian shirts. :)
I passed it along word of mouth... made sure everyone knew my aversion to jeans and/or shorts. We just said collared shirts and khakis and sundresses.
I would say putting it on invitations is kind of tacky, and also setting the tone by your wording of the invitation also sets the tone of the attire of the event. More formal wording shows that it isn't going to be a casual-casual event... being it on the beach, people should know not to wear heels or suit and tie.
"Dressy casual" can mean lots of things to different people. Maybe "Garden party attire?" I don't know if that would be a little clearer or just more confusing...we're facing a similar dilemma and also telling people not to wear heels/jackets (we're getting married on a lawn in the summer), so who knows what people will show up in! I've decided to hope most people will dress appropriately and if somebody doesn't, well...it just makes them look awkward.
You could do a lighthearted "attire" section of your wedding website. I'm picturing a "Glamour" type "Dos and Don'ts of Dressing for a Beach Wedding".
You could have things like "Do feel comfortable in a fabulous summer sundress". You could also have "Do remember that there will be photographers" and include a picture of somebody wearing a horrible hawaiian shirt dancing at a wedding. Don'ts could include "Don't assume a beach wedding means a great tanning opportunity" to discourage people wearing swimsuits, and "Don't mix high heels and sand" to encourage people to be comfortable. You could make the don'ts section even funnier if it had things like "Don't forget to wear clothes" or "Don't floss" with a picture of somebody wearing a thong.
Otherwise, a quick note somewhere that says, "A number of people have inquired about attire. We want our guests to be comfortable, so we suggest khakis and and button downs/polos for the guys and sundresses for the ladies." That implies that you are being unstuffy by letting people be that casual, but clearly says that shorts/hawaiian shirts is NOT appropriate without being so direct.
my gf's wedding invite said "smart casual" but she is from NYC and ppl tend to understand dress code cause of all the different functions they attend for business - maybe "smart" may be offensive to some people but it MAY encourage them not to look like idiots and wear "dumb casual" lol!
I too am having a beach wedding and struggled with the thought of certain people showing up in polo shirts and shorts. While of course it wouldn't be the end of the world or even come close to ruining the day, I am a stickler about dressing appropriately as a means of showing respect for the occasion.I mean, I don't even go to church and I shudder to think of people wearing jeans to church! I have a section on our wedding website with some suggestions on what to pack for the long weekend (flip flops, sunscreen, swimsuits, etc) and included this in the list:
"Dressier-than-beach attire for the wedding. We would appreciate no shorts or golf shirts during the ceremony and reception."
You could always sign all of your guests up for the J Crew catalogue as a hint
I think you should place something on your invitation and website about your dress preference. We had a Outdoor Wedding and we had "Cocktail Attire" on our website and invitation. I do have to say we did have one person show up in jeans, another person show up in a button up shirt, shorts and flip flops, and another person show up in a polo shirt and khakis.
Hello everyone!
I'm hoping you can help me with how to suggest to our guests what they should/should not wear to our wedding.
My fiance and I are getting married on the beach and understandably we don't expect our guests to wear gowns or tuxes. Having said that, we also don't expect them to arrive wearing shorts or swimwear although a few guests have joked (we hope!) about which Hawaiian shirt they're going to wear.
We know our wedding will be a laid back and casual event, which is why we chose to have a destination wedding but we also don't want our guests to lose sight that it is nevertheless serious and special for us. Also, it's probably a bit selfish of us but we would like our pics to look pretty!
Should I add a page to our wedding website with suggestions/ideas/links about what the should wear? Should I do a word of mouth/email as guests respond? Should I get my parents/bridal party to spread the word?
Thanks for all your help!
posted by Claudia 7 posts 3 months agoMaybe suggesting business casual for the men and sundresses for the ladies? Or perhaps put "dressy summer attire"--if I read that I would think sundresses for the ladies and khakis and button-downs for the men.
And maybe something about no hawaiian shirts :)
posted by Angiepie 27 posts 3 months agodepending on the tone of your website, it may be fun to take a casual/fun approach to the question of what to wear. on our side, we didn't specify dress, but in the location detail did mention that it does get chilly outside at night and mentioned the ceremony would be on a lawn, so guests should plan footwear accordingly. it seems obvious on the planning side, but people may not think of it until their stilettos sink into the grass (or sand, perhaps, in your case).
the important thing is to get the tone right - if it comes off as a bossy list of things that aren't allowed, it may be offputting, but some guidance may be welcome to guests. I like angiepie's suggestion of dressy summer attire. if you are getting married in a tropical destination, you may be able to make a light comment about no hawaiian shirts. :)
posted by missm 485 posts 3 months agoI recently designed invitations for a friend who is having a beach wedding and we added "Dressy casual attire" to suggest to the guests what to wear.
posted by Anonymous 27 posts 3 months agoI passed it along word of mouth... made sure everyone knew my aversion to jeans and/or shorts. We just said collared shirts and khakis and sundresses.
I would say putting it on invitations is kind of tacky, and also setting the tone by your wording of the invitation also sets the tone of the attire of the event. More formal wording shows that it isn't going to be a casual-casual event... being it on the beach, people should know not to wear heels or suit and tie.
posted by babagrlshell 388 posts 3 months ago"Dressy casual" can mean lots of things to different people. Maybe "Garden party attire?" I don't know if that would be a little clearer or just more confusing...we're facing a similar dilemma and also telling people not to wear heels/jackets (we're getting married on a lawn in the summer), so who knows what people will show up in! I've decided to hope most people will dress appropriately and if somebody doesn't, well...it just makes them look awkward.
posted by amysue 643 posts 3 months agoYou could do a lighthearted "attire" section of your wedding website. I'm picturing a "Glamour" type "Dos and Don'ts of Dressing for a Beach Wedding".
You could have things like "Do feel comfortable in a fabulous summer sundress". You could also have "Do remember that there will be photographers" and include a picture of somebody wearing a horrible hawaiian shirt dancing at a wedding. Don'ts could include "Don't assume a beach wedding means a great tanning opportunity" to discourage people wearing swimsuits, and "Don't mix high heels and sand" to encourage people to be comfortable. You could make the don'ts section even funnier if it had things like "Don't forget to wear clothes" or "Don't floss" with a picture of somebody wearing a thong.
Otherwise, a quick note somewhere that says, "A number of people have inquired about attire. We want our guests to be comfortable, so we suggest khakis and and button downs/polos for the guys and sundresses for the ladies." That implies that you are being unstuffy by letting people be that casual, but clearly says that shorts/hawaiian shirts is NOT appropriate without being so direct.
posted by edb 41 posts 3 months agomy gf's wedding invite said "smart casual" but she is from NYC and ppl tend to understand dress code cause of all the different functions they attend for business - maybe "smart" may be offensive to some people but it MAY encourage them not to look like idiots and wear "dumb casual" lol!
posted by ATaleofTwoCities 65 posts 3 months agoI too am having a beach wedding and struggled with the thought of certain people showing up in polo shirts and shorts. While of course it wouldn't be the end of the world or even come close to ruining the day, I am a stickler about dressing appropriately as a means of showing respect for the occasion.I mean, I don't even go to church and I shudder to think of people wearing jeans to church! I have a section on our wedding website with some suggestions on what to pack for the long weekend (flip flops, sunscreen, swimsuits, etc) and included this in the list:
"Dressier-than-beach attire for the wedding. We would appreciate no shorts or golf shirts during the ceremony and reception."
You could always sign all of your guests up for the J Crew catalogue as a hint
posted by CarolineG 284 posts 3 months agoI think you should place something on your invitation and website about your dress preference. We had a Outdoor Wedding and we had "Cocktail Attire" on our website and invitation. I do have to say we did have one person show up in jeans, another person show up in a button up shirt, shorts and flip flops, and another person show up in a polo shirt and khakis.
posted by AprylHzle 43 posts 3 months ago