Post # 1
Hello Bees! This is my first thread ever. And I have to say I wished I found this website during planning and not just after.
I got my professional pics over the weekend. I couldn’t help but notice that one BM wasn’t smiling up walking up the aisle in one photo. I looked at all the photos of her walking up the aisle, and she was not smiling in any of them. This confirmed she basically did not smile at all.
What was the expression? She looked bored out of her tits. Unsmiling lips and eyes half closed. In some, the corners of her mouth turned upwards ever so slightly. Couple that with half closed eyes and it looked sarcastic.
I looked at photos of the entire wedding party on the altar and that same expression was there. She wasn’t even looking at the camera.
Yes, I was having problems with this BM. But that fight happened a few days after the wedding. I didn’t think there was a problem during the wedding. She apologized and I thought that we were good. Then 1 month later I see these photos and I have come to the conclusion that she was jealous, which in my opinion, was what the look conveyed.
So where does that leave the both of us, she apologized for the wrong thing. Behind everything she did, it had been jealousy all along. My photos are ruined, she was the first bridesmaid. Ahead of her were my flower girls and ring barers, my kiddie entourage that I so love looking at. If only I can share the photo but I can’t because you’ll see her face 🙂
This is a question to the married Bees… Did you have a bridesmaid that didn’t smile walking up the aisle? Did you have problems with her? I actually don’t know if BMs smile while walking up the aisle.
To previous BMs, did you smile walking up the aisle? Where you aware that you had to smile for photos? I just want to make sure that I’m not seeing something that isn’t there.
Post # 3
I wish you could post a picture… Maybe a paint rendition would work…
I’m sorry that sour puss ruined your photos 🙁
Post # 4
@PetalFace: maybe she was uncomfortable? nervous? it’s not necessarily about you! i hope there are some that can be saved.
Post # 5
Maybe she was really uncomfortable, felt unwell or just photographs poorly?
Also, one BM looking uninterested does not ruin your photos. It’s unfortunate, but it should only really affect the photos that she’s meant to be the focus of (so if she’s behind the kids or off to the side of you, she’s not the focus in that picture).
Post # 6
Every issue between a bride and her bridesmaids does not always equate to jealousy, unless she flat out told you that.
Maybe she was uncomfortable. Some are uncomfortable standing in front of crowds with all eyes on them or there could have been something going on with her that she doesn;t care to discuss. You never know. If it’s really bothering you I say invite her over or go out to lunch and talk things out.
Post # 7
Some people think they have a relaxed pleasant face, and just have what’s called “bitchy resting face”, haha.
FWIW I think you are reading WAY too much into this, and that you should step away from the wedding pictures now.
Post # 8
@PetalFace: My 3 year old flower girl/DH’s goddaughter giggled the whole way up. But my 9 year old brother/ring bearer SCOWLED. Not just up the aisle, but during the ceremony, and in ALL the formal photographs.
I’m still mad at him(just a little). He knows better! He was raised to BEHAVE better!
Post # 9
@PetalFace: You’re photos aren’t ruined and I’m sure it wasn’t intentional….some people are just really not photogenic and it has nothing to do with some clandestine plot to befowl your wedding photos…I mean really…a jealous person over-processes their hair and gets the Miley Cyrus cut the night before, gets a Mom tattoo on her bicept and wears combat boots under the bridesmaid dress….she doesn’t forget to smile in the photos…because in the scheme of evil wedding schemes…that’s pretty weak.
Post # 10
@MilkCookies81: Yes, I am open-minded that she might just have been uncomfortable. It was like a “i’m too cool for school” look.
So if issues between BMs and brides aren’t about jealousy, what else could they be about? I don’t women can ever own up to saying they are jealous to the person they are jealous of. And for that same reason, I find it hard to ask someone straight up if they are jealous.
Post # 11
I had a hard time smiling all the way up the aisle becuse I was trying to remember not to hold my bouquet in front my face and not fall down. I was nervous as heck.
My BMs smiled throughout the ceremony and for all the pro pics, but when it came to walking dow nthe aisle I don’t have any of my two bridesmaid’s smiling. My mom also wasn’t captured smiling as she walked down. These were not intentional reactions. I think nerves and emotions get the best of some of us the day of.
Now in your case if you had a blow out with her after the wedding I assume something must have been going on prior to that. If it was, there is your answer on why she was a Mrs. Grumpy McGrumperton.
Post # 12
@Nona99: +1. That is some great imagery.
Post # 13
I’m not sure why you’re automatically assuming she’s jealous. I did have a brides maid who didn’t smile walking up the aisle and she looks kind of the same way in a lot of the pictures. I also know that she wasn’t feeling very good that day and was kind of uncomfortable. I highly doubt this was intentional.
Post # 14
@crayfish: I was going to say the same thing. Maybe your BM just has a resting bitch face and the photographer just happened to take the picture while she wasn’t smiling. Or perhaps she nervous and uncomfortable. Or perhaps she was just channeling her inner Bella Swan.
Post # 15
@Artificial-Sweetener: I’m going to try this, I’ll get the actual photo strip away colour, and background and maybe add on a different hair and skin colour and see if we can read the expression. This might take a while.
Post # 16
Ok I hear you all. I know that jealousy isn’t the only evil in the world.
Maybe some background wouuld help:
She doesn’t earn all that much and I think my life is going better than hers in many areas. For one, I have a husband. She’s single and all she does is talk about boys. She was the only person I spent the few days after the wedding before we left for the honeymoon. There was very little post wedding analysis talk and way more of this from her: many boys hit on me in the wedding, I love this country, all the boys here think I’m exotic, and all the rest. She’s only ever had one boyfriend in her life and he was caught red handed.
She has a hard time meeting guys. She asked me how much I spent for the wedding, I told her, and then she lectured me on how lucky I am to have immigrated and experience what a first world country can offer. Yes, my family was able to immigrate when I was a kid. But a lot of things could have gone wrong between 8 yrs old and 32. I studied my butt off in university and I was still the dumbest one in the program. I worked hard in work. So my life followed a route partially based on luck and hard work.
Maybe jealousy is a strong word. I think this is what happened. She compared herself to me, and she couldn’t help but feel bad for herself and it showed on her face and it happen to be walking up the aisle. She looked uninterested, indifferent like as if this is just all wasteful pageantry which I think is a cover up for I’ll never find a man and I’ll never be able to afford something like this.