Post # 1
Okay, so our tentative date is 1/1/12, which is a Sunday. We are in love with the date (we can’t fit the wedding in in 2011 for alot of reasons, so we’re making getting married the first thing we do next year!), and we love the idea of a Sunday wedding.
Here is the problem: my fiance and I attend a very small church (50 adults, usually just as many kids lol) and 5 of the 8 people in our wedding party also attend there. Throw in both sets of parents and the two of us, and we just wiped out a fifth of the adult attendance, including most of the musicians on the worship team!
Even if we went to a larger church, we are beginning to doubt whether it is a good idea to ask our wedding party to miss their regular worship time for the sake of our wedding. They would all be willing to do it, no problem, but maybe it’s selfish of us to ask them to choose.
The ceremony will be at 3, and we have access to the chapel we will be using at noon to set up. If we didn’t ask the wedding party to be there until 12:30 or 1, no one would have to miss church, problem solved. Is this enough time to set up and for the maids to be dressed and ready? Is it wrong or selfish to ask them to miss church to be with us on our wedding day? Please tell me what you think!
Post # 3
I actually considered a Sunday wedding and honestly I don’t see the issue. Unless your BM have elaborate up dos or anything them getting ready shouldn’t take long. The set up might be hard in that time also, if you have the possibility of hiring someone who WON’T care if they miss church to help with the set up, you wouldn’t have to worry as much. I hope that helps
Post # 4
Is there a church youth group that you could hire to work with minimal supervision to do your set-up? This would free up the wedding party to be with you and get ready.
Post # 5
@sarahberah: This was really an issue my mother had, not me. I just found out from my ceremony site that I will have a hostess to assist with set up / tear down / everything from two hours before my wedding starts to an hour after it’s over. Huge weight off!
@julies1949: I didn’t think of that! Thanks for the suggestion. I think we’ll just rely on our site’s hostess though.
Post # 6
I depends on if you want to take pictures with them beforehand. I’m not sure why your attendants wouldn’t want to miss one day of church to attend your wedding. Those who are just guests have plenty of time after church to come.
Post # 7
Since the church has a small congregation, do you know most of the people and the pastor very well? If so, I don’t see why you couldn’t decorate the church (at least the big things) on Saturday and then, during the regular Sunday service, the pastor could make a reference to your wedding that afternoon so everyone would understand why things are decorated. The congregation could also pray for you and your FI.
Post # 8
OK here goes! Will I get my head chopped off?
What if you have your wedding at the Sunday church service? it’s a small church and probably tight community and as you said yourself ‘half’ the church is in the ceremony anyway.
I think it would be lovely. Afterwards you can serve cup cake [save the real cake and cutting for the ‘formal’ reception] and punch. I bet the ladies guild will even throw in some sandwiches. Then you can go off for the traditional wedding reception later on. In between you can do photos!
If you don’t like that idea; speak to the pastor. I don’t think it would be difficult to get everyone ready after services, they’ll just be tuckered out. Let me know your thoughts.
Post # 9
can people go to a saturday night mass instead? I don’t think you’ll have enough time to get everything ready if people aren’t there until 1230 or 1.
Post # 10
I think first of all you should talk to your pastor. I know my pastor wouldn’t mind at all but some would. So see what he says. Maybe the BMs and everyone can have their hair and nails done before church so all they have to do after is get ready with you.
Post # 11
I kinda like the idea @Momma has… Especially since it’s a smaller church, I’m sure you’re close or atleast know everyone & I think that would be great to be able to incorporate your church family!
We go to a large church and we’re pretty involved so we invited a good portion of the church anyways.. lol
Plus then you get YOUR pastor to marry you (unless you already had something else in mind). I know how much we love our Pastors & would love if he could do our wedding.
Definitely something to think about…
Post # 12
I think after church is FINE! My FI plays in the worship band…..and we’re getting married on a sunday…..late afternoon (5:30)…..as long as no one HAS to miss the service….no biggie!
Post # 13
Yes, I definitely think it is ok after the service as long as you realize that Sunday is typically the day that people spend with their families. They may not want to attend. Plus, God should really come first on that day (well, any day really, but Sundays are typically set aside for worshipping first, family second, etc. ) so asking anyone to skip church for any reason even if it is your wedding doesn’t seem like a great way to start off your marriage. I know you said there were a lot of reasons you couldn’t get married this year, but poor you having to wait so long (I say this as an individual who is very impatient and is just dying to get to her September 3rd wedding! I can understand though. We’re waiting until September because he has youth away events (he’s the youth pastor) in June and July and he thinks August is too hot.