Super-introvert guest list – barely any people to invite :(

posted 3 weeks ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
60 posts
Worker bee

I’m in the exact situation. I’ve never really known my mom’s family due to their drug/alcohol problems. My dad’s family disowned us when I was 9, resulting in years of depression that also prevented me from making friends. I have no living grandparents. I have my parents, brothers, godparents, plus 1 friend and her husband to invite. My SO has a pretty big close family and lots of friends. It makes me a little sad that I don’t have many people, but I’m hoping it won’t even matter when the time comes.

Post # 17
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - the garden house, seattle

my husband and i have one family member (mine) between us, and when he moved up here in 2008 he was in a toxic relationship; that and the subsequent depression kept him from making many friends. we had about 60 people, and only about 15 were his friends. five more were friends that were originally mine but are now ours. the rest were my friends. we didn’t do sides for the seating, and it wasn’t weird or awkward. it didn’t matter at all.

Post # 18
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I think for us introverts the fear of being judged holds us back more than anything. I am having a destination wedding. My OH would’ve preferred a huge wedding bc he loves being in the spotlight. Me? Not so much. We are complete opposites and somehow it works. So he compromised for me and we will have 24 people total including us. I think it should be a compromise both ways. Something has to give if it makes you uncomfortable. I do like the idea of not having sides at the wedding. It evens things out so it isn’t noticeable. But I completely understand that feeling of wondering what everyone must think. *hugs* I hope it all works out for you. 

Post # 23
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

you might be surprised at how many people his side of the family might invite, noone will notice who is from who’s side anyways. if you are having a hard time finding bridesmaids, does he have any sisters, cousins, family members you are closer to you could ask to take part?

Post # 24
Member
409 posts
Helper bee

We had about 40 people at our wedding. My husband invited four of them, all of whom were family. It wasnt a problem at all. I sat his family with my mother, and they got on like crazy. At the ceremony, there was only enough seating for the amount of people coming, so there was no question of which side to choose – everyone just took a seat. Try not to be anxious – you dont have to build up relationships specifically for your wedding. Invite the people you really want to be there, and let your partner have all the people he wants to make up the numbers.

Post # 25
Member
983 posts
Busy bee

At one time in my life I had a significant number of ‘friends’.  After my husbands’ death, I found out the difference between a friend and a ‘friend’.  I’d much rather have one or two real friends that I know are there and have my back than an entire church full of people who don’t give a good goddamn about me in the first place.

Post # 27
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m such a an introvert too. You still have a lot of time, so try not to overthink the guest list too much just yet (I know it’s tough, but one step at a time). I am so happy my wedding is far behind me so that I don’t have that any added pressure of wondering if I should invite certain people to my wedding. I know it’s hard, but I think if you try to become friends with people only because you want to feel like you have lots of friends at your wedding you might regret it. I’m a little embarassed that I had some of the people I had at my wedding, as I am not close with them anymore (one I had a huge falling out with). Try to be more friendly in general and pursue your interests and hopefully you will make some more friends if you truly feel lacking (I know I do haha), but try not to put pressure on the friendships seeing them as a potential wedding guest. You have time, so just see what develops. There’s also nothing wrong with having a smaller guest list! 

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