Post # 1
So, my fiance and I have talked about having a super small, intimate beach wedding in Spring of 2013…and only wanting to have his 6 year old daughter and our parents in attendance. I am an only child but my fiance has a sister. Any suggestions on how to approach the fact that it will be parents and Allie only?
Side note: He is not super close to his sister, but we do maintain a friendly relationship with her, her husband, and her two boys.
Please help! We don’t want to cause any tension.
Post # 3
@jlrroad: Is there any particular reason not to invite his sister? DH and I got married with only our parents there. But then, my sister and I had already not spoken at all in 6 years at that point, so I didn’t include her.
Post # 4
It would still be a super small wedding if you included his sister and her husband…It would be one thing if you weren’t having ANYONE except his daughter, but since the parents are invited, she would be the only nuclear family member to be left out. If I were her, I would be hurt.
Post # 6
Well, this may sound silly, but it’s almost an “even” thing. If they all come, then it will be only 2 for me, and 6 for him…then his daughter. Plus, then if that starts, I’m wondering if that will start a chain reaction with other family members then being upset they weren’t invited. I hope this doesn’t sound selfish, but we both want simple, stress-free and just make a weekend vacation out of it for the 6 of us. Involving anyone else in my opinion makest the planning and stress elevate.
Post # 7
If you want it just you/parents, thats what you should do. If you think his sister will be upset, maybe you could explain you wanted it small and simple, and ask if you could take them out to dinner when you get back to celebrate or something.
Post # 8
@jlrroad: Do it the way you want it. Maybe if you take a “confiding this tiny tiny wedding we are having’ approach with his sister that would offset any feelings of being left out she might have.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars
I would invite her. She is part of his family and should be there for him. Just because he has more people there, doesn’t mean he’s more loved. It just means that his immediate family is bigger… but by the end, they will be your family too.
Post # 10
You should invite his sister…
Post # 11
You get to have what you want, and who you want in attendance. And everyone is entitled to their feelings surrounding what you choose to do, it might not make them all happy, but if you aren’t going to include the sister at this time, perhaps a dinner out together might be nice or some other outing.
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
All I can say is that if my brother got married without inviting me, I’d be crushed and his new wife would be on my sh*t list. It’s just not the right way to join a family.
Post # 13
Yikes! That’s going to be touchy. If you have a friendly relationship and you don’t invite them then I bet it wont be friendly for long. I never see my brother and he lives 9 hours away but if he invited my parents to his wedding and not me I would be devastated! Wanting to keep it “even” is a very strange reason, but to each his own, just know that they will most likely be very hurt.
Post # 14
I think you can do whatever you want. However, inviting direct family only would mean including his sister but not really open the flood gates to other family members. Because, if you want to maintain a friendly relationship, I can’t see not inviting her to the wedidng going well. I would be super hurt if my sister hadn’t wanted me at her wedding.
Post # 15
I agree with PPs. I really think you should invite her. It doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll come (especially if it’s a DW and she has 2 kids), but I think she might be offended if she wasn’t even invited. I wouldn’t risk it.
Post # 16
How does your FI feel? Does he want his sister there?