Super stressed.

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
1634 posts
Bumble bee


I think that while it’s important to not offend anyone, it is still YOUR wedding, and you should do what you’d like. Be sensitive, and make sure to keep it classy but plan the reception you want and if you think there is something they may be offended by, have your FI talk it over with them before-hand so they can be prepared for it. You dont want to look back on your wedding an regret leaving out all the fun stuff you wanted to do because you *might* offend them, that would be such a shame!

Post # 3
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

“I’m so glad I jettisoned all my ideas for my dream wedding and just did whatever my in-laws wanted!”. Said no bride, ever.

It’s your wedding and your day. As long as you show a basic level of consideration for your guests, you can do whatever you damn well like. And even if you follow all of their wedding demands to the letter, I can promise that you’ll accidentally mortally offend someone anyway because that is just what weddings are like. Since wedding planning always comes with a side of drama, you should at least make sure you get an amazing day that you and your fiance love out of it. Stop asking for their opinion and just make your own plans. When they rock up on the day they will be able to deal with it (and possibly even secretly enjoy it).

Post # 4
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

On the congregation and church: for some churches, it is policy to invite the entire congregation to every wedding held at the church because the church is not going to turn away anyone from its congregation from attending a religious ceremony–and that’s not usually something you can fight against if you are going to have your wedding at that particular church. However, this is not the same as making the congregation as your official guests–they’re not going to get invitations AND it’s generally understood that they are not invited to the reception. I don’t even think that you are expected to provide refreshments for them or give them programs, and if the church is small, it’s *usually* (though, not always) the case that the congregation respects your guests and your guests will get priority seating. It may just be an announcement that the pastor makes or is in the church bulletin or something. You should clarify this with your FFIL and make sure this is the case, though, because you don’t want an awkward moment if he were to say at the end of your ceremony, “And you can all join us at a reception at [address]!” But I think that’s what he means when he talks about inviting the congregation. 

Don’t have your reception at the church. Have it at the loft; have your 125 or whatever guests. And be as playful as you want. You and your FI have the final say. Your family gets some say because they are helping you pay for things. Your FFIL should have some input regarding the ceremony because he’s the officiant and you’ll be on holy ground at his church, whereas you get carte blanche with the reception. That’s how you should work it. 

Post # 5
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

chirpychappers:  Firstly, Congrats! 

Now I would tell you go with what you want because at the end of the day its YOUR WEDDING and you do not want to look back and say i wish i did.

Inviting whole congregation thing would be a NO NO for me because I think you should have people closest to you on that day to celebrate with you and I LOVE to dance so it would really frustrate me for someone to come and tell me no dancing on what is suppose to be the happiest day of my life. 

At the end of the end in-laws and others will have something negative to say regardless and/or be offend…

Have the wedding and reception you want, they’ll get over it!

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