Post # 1
This is my first post, but I have been lurking here on the Bee since I got engaged in March 2012 (married in June 2013) and have seen all of the amazing support and advice all of you lovely ladies have provided to others. I have learned so much from other threads but finally decided to post for myself as I haven’t found someone else with my situation. I looked on cancer survivor forums but haven’t found any nearly as active as the BEE! I apologize in advance for any technical errors! 🙂
To make a (very) long story short, I was diagnosed with AML (a type of leukemia) when I was 19. I have since had many rounds of chemo, a bone marrow transplant, then a relapse followed by radiation, more chemo, and a second bone marrow transplant. I have been in remission now for 5 1/2 years but am still dealing with side effects and Graft versus Host Disease stemming from my second bone marrow transplant.
Most days I feel so blessed to be living a relatively normal life and to have a very supportive husband. But sometimes, I feel worn down by my continuing side effects, emotions, and fatigue. I am also an RN on the oncology floor I was a patient on, so I am still surrounded by cancer what seems like constantly. I like to put on a strong facade IRL so I LOVE the idea of having an online community for support.
My main concern now after a year of marriage is fertility. I would love nothing more than to have a child, and to be able to give the gift of a biological child to my husband. Before my first transplant I had eggs frozen and have 18 eggs stored for future use. However, I have been told that IVF may still be difficult or impossible due to scar tissue and other health issues, but won’t know for sure one way or another if it will work until we try. It wasn’t until very recently that I felt ready mentally and emotionally to start TTC, and now that it is more of a reality I am TERRIFIED. I am so scared to want something so badly and it not work, or to have a miscarriage. I’m scared to even go back to my fertility doctor for an initial IVF consult because I don’t want to get any bad news:(.
I’m not sure exactly what I’m looking for, maybe just some advice or support from any Bees that have been or are in a similar situation. Thank you in advance for reading this!!:)
Post # 2
mrsprn: As a fellow cancer survivor I wish you all the luck in the world in achieving your dream of parenthood. I would go and see the doctor. The longer you wait the more you will work it up in your mind. Think positively.
But remeber that even if you get bad news there are multiple ways to have a biological child today and multiple ways to have a child period. And everyday the technology advances. And often the sooner you get started on these processes the better.
Good luck and make sure you talk with your partner so they know how to and can support you through this.
Post # 3
I can’t relate to your situation but just wanted to say good luck. TTC seems to be terrifying for everyone but having that consult can at least give you some answers/information. You are obviously very strong to have overcome so much already. I hope it all works out for you!
Post # 4
mrsprn: I just wanted to post in support as someone in a similar situation. I am finishing up treatment for breast cancer and I have been having a hard time with the possibility of not being able to have children. Unlike you however, I am not planning to TTC for a few years – both for health reasons (have to spend 2-3 years on my anti-recurrence drugs) and also because I just got married a few months ago and hubby and I need some time enjoying newlywed life, getting our careers and finances in order, etc.
I did not freeze eggs or embryos because I decided the risks of not starting treatment immediately were greater than the risks of permanent infertility. So I have to cross my fingers that I still have some viable eggs or that we’re able to adopt. We’re very willing to adopt but I know it is also more challenging after cancer.
Post # 5
worldtraveler: If it is any help I can tell you I know lots of women from my breast cancer support group that have gone on and gotten pregnant without help. I had eggs frozen when I was 16 because back then the treatments were pretty harsh for breast cancer but compared to what I went through back then to what I go through now it is miles apart. It was standard recommened back then if you wanted a chance of having a baby. Now it is only offered rathered than recommended.
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2017 - Kimmel Center of Performing Arts
mrsprn: I am a cancer survivor myself. I was blessed to have a daughter before I found out about my cancer. I have been in remisson for a little over a year and we have been trying for a baby for a year now. We did get pregnant in March but had a miscarriage. It was very hard for us but at least we know that we can get pregnant but the problem for us is keeping the baby. I wish you the best of luck on your journey TTC. Remember to pray and not stess yourself out.